Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[Sad_but_happy]

Fast story...

W told me of 2 month EA in early October
I insisted she break it off
I believe NC since early November
She says she is not sure if she ever loved me
I beg, cry, gifts, flowers, cards for the next month
I have not done any begging, gifts, etc for the past 3 weeks
Some R talk but not much


Here is the update...
We sleep in the same bed

We are reading "Surrender to Marriage" in bed each night (she got from the library on her own based on advice from IC). Its a pro-marriage book

I have been offered a new job in another state and she says she wants to go (away from EA and OM)

We watch TV and and have wine together every night

No talk of seperation or D in over 6 weeks

We talk of future vacations and the possible new home in another state

We are looking at new homes on the internet together


Here is why I'm confused...
We have not kissed or ML in months

No real emotional connection yet (at least that's how I feel)

When asked a few nights ago if she is committed to making the marriage work she still can't answer (this is the big one for me and I really should not have asked. BIG BACKSLIDE)


Am I in piecing?

[Sad_but_happy]

Need help!

Came home from work and gave wife a hug while she was sitting on computer.

She was not receptive.

I'm so confused! If I don't give her some affection I fear she will think I don't want her and she may flee.

What do I do?

I think no more unless she initiates...

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I think no more unless she initiates...

Good plan.

[Sad_but_happy]

So this morning I made the bed, plowed the snow off the driveway and helped make the kids lunches. I have been doing more as her LL are acts of service", and "gifts"...

My W no longer clings tithe edge of the bed, and if our feet or hands touch she no longer pulls away...

And SHE initiated a hug this morning...

Thinking of bringing her home sone flowers... No roses and not red... Thinking a mixed assortment all colors... Thoughts?

[Drew]

I would go slow. But that's just me ....

[MrBond]

No flowers. That's pushing it. Start of slow by giving your W "light" non-sexual touches.

Once that's established, and she's receptive, then start with the flowers. But give it time.

[Sad_but_happy]

Thanks for checking in guys... I really respect your opinions.

OK, no flowers..

We have a friend coming over tonight and we plan on a night of movies, hot coco w/pepermint schnapes, and pizza, oh and of course beer...

Shoud be a good night... Will be upbeat and happy..

Any other advice?

[MrBond]

"Will be upbeat and happy.."

Rinse and repeat.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Watch your intake. Get a little tipsy and all sorts of emotionally stupid things might come out of you.

[Sad_but_happy]

OK, I need to be patient... Not easy when all you want to do is hold your W.

So funny... Just six months ago all I could think about was getting in her pants... Now I don't even think about sex... I miss the hand holding, bubble baths, spooning, kissing...

This process certainly puts things into perspective... When you lose that emotional bond you once shared with W to OM the pain cuts so deep. And geting it back is all you think about.

I tell you this... When I get it back I will never lose it again!