The different path... Continued

[Mystik]

Damn it! Was denied the loan, and even with a cosigner I can't get one due to being behind on my college loans. Just called and got a forebearance on my student loan due to the depression and being out of work for treatment. Now to figure out what to do next.

[Mystik]

I'm just a swirling mass of thoughts and emotions right now. I love H, I want him to come back. But at the same time, can I forgive him for everything that he's done? I know that time and distance is the best chance for reconciling at any point in time. I understand that the affair needs to run it's course before H will come out of his fog and even realize what he's done. I understand everyone's points about filing first, but at the same time don't want to do anything that will risk future chances of reconciling. I know that he needs to own his mess and be sincerely remorseful for it. Right now he doesn't even realize he has a mess to own. I'm holding on to a memory, the man I married is gone.

[courageous wife]

(((mystik)))

Knowing it and feeling it are 2 different things! You'll get there!!!

Just stopping by to wish you a very Blessed Christmas!!!

[sgctxok]

Mystik,

You have come so far, and like courageous said, you might not feel it.

May you and your son have a wonderful time today.

Merry Christmas!
sg

[Mystik]

Thanks to both of you. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas, as well.

Things are still going here. Family court date on Tuesday to deal with the money H owes me and to ensure that OW is not allowed to pick up DS for any reason. Then after that, I don't know. My lawyer is talking like he's expecting me to file for divorce once family court is resolved. But I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to file and essentially say "I've given up hope for this marriage." So I don't know what is going to happen next.

[courageous wife]

Hi Mystik!

How was your NYE? Hope you had something fun planned!

If you are not ready to file...then don't!

I hope and pray that all of us here have a wonderful 2011!!

Tell NM hi and happy new year for me!!!

[dbmod]

How are you, Mystik?

[Mystik]

I'm hanging in there. NYE was boring, DS and I were asleep by 11:30.

I think I am going to have to file first. If H files first using no-fault then I am pretty much SOL as to getting to use any other grounds. Going to talk to a lawyer and see what my options are.

[courageous wife]

Thanks for updating mystik!

You and your S come first...always. Whatever you need to do to insure that you will both be taken care of!