Should STBXH still be helping around the house ?

[Shelby]

My Husband left in mid July, He Filed for divorce, although things are moving slowly in that department and I have not been pushing it.
I still live in our home with our Daughters and he moved out. He still would come by every other week or so and mow lawn, and do simple home maintenance. He is coming over today to see the Girls and do some stuff around the house before winter, take down porch furniture, mow lawn last time, that kind of stuff. Is it okay to still let him do this stuff ? Or should I look for someone else to help me with this kind of things ?

He even offered to help me put up the christmas tree and decorations, I originally said No , I was going to do it, but now I am not sure, I mean if he wants to help, should I let him ? I am confused because Is it like when it is convenient for him to be part of the family he will come around, yet he says he wants out and filed. DO I make any sense ? HAHA

[sinclair]

My WAW and I do things for each other all the time. There is no reason not to be friends. The contact may give you the opportunity to grow your friendship. Just don't pursue.

This had been working for me, up until she told me that she wanted to start dating me. With hindsight, I now understand that she wanted to spend more time with me, her friend; she wasn't ready for the next step. It was my error. When I started discussing our relationship and setting boundaries, it scared her off. So, be careful.

[Grocerykartman]

I would say though, that "surprise" visits are much less appropriate than planned ones. Your daughters are teenagers, so it's not as bad I wouldn't think as if they were toddlers, but my xw would often just pop in, and I wouldn't have to time to mentally prepare for it or more importantly prepare my daughter for it. My daughter would often get very blindsided, not when she came over, but when she then made an abrupt exit after she'd satisfied her need to see my daughter for a little bit. After all, you're not a coat to be worn whenever he feels like wearing it and then taking it off again, and especially neither are your children. But there is room for healthy co-existence with these visits, especially if you're getting along pretty well. They just should not be spur of the moment events, in my opinion.