Sorry i post so much, but the latest is i have not contacted her in a week just seems like she is happy and moving on with her life even though she hasn't filed yet that i know of. just wish i knew if she ever though about us and what we have lost. At least her best friend has added me back to Facebook and other things and is talking to me again. Her Facebook status still says we are married and my son says all the family pictures are still up, including the ones of just me and her.
I read somewhere once that they think of us as much as we think of them, but I don't know if that's true. My husband acts like he is fine with all of this too. Of course, I'm acting that way too, but I know for sure mine is an act. I don't know about his. I just know it stinks!
M-32, WAH 32 D-7 months Bomb of PA 9/25 WAH left 10/24 D Filed by WAH
i mean all her friends say she misses me and ask about me. one of her friends told me my w told her the other day she misses getting dressed and turns to ask me how she looks and im not there but follows up with i dont know why im saying that he never did that anyway
I believe, and I could be wrong, that many times they do second guess their decision to walk away and probably would like to come back--but then they talk themselves out of it b/c of fear and they get a case of the "what ifs" (what if things don't change, what if we can't be happy, etc). Fear holds us all back. It's sad that we let fear stand in our way of being truly happy sometimes--whether its fear to return home and resolve your marriage or fear to move on with your life without your mate. Fear is no fun.
M-32, WAH 32 D-7 months Bomb of PA 9/25 WAH left 10/24 D Filed by WAH
my plans are to continue making myself a better person despite her decision. she can file but i will not discuss it with her nor will i participate in it. i will not fight her but i will not assist in it.
Right now the plan is to just continue on with the 180s. I'm still avoiding R talk. I'm being upbeat and a friend to him. He is more relaxed around me and is doing nice things for me and acting more like himself at times. I'm not sure if all of this is from guilt or if the changes I'm making are impacting him. He has supposedly filed for D, but I have not been served. He has agreed to go to a marriage seminar in January, but I'm not sure if it's b/c he feels guilty or if he thinks there may be a possibility at reconciling. He has rented his own apt, but he's been gone from home for over a month anyway. He is coming to stay the night to help with baby and we are taking her to get pic made with Santa. So I guess I will just do more of what I've been doing to see where it gets me.
M-32, WAH 32 D-7 months Bomb of PA 9/25 WAH left 10/24 D Filed by WAH
"she misses getting dressed and turns to ask me how she looks and im not there but follows up with i dont know why im saying that he never did that anyway"
Is this true? Before all this happened, have you ever tried building up your W's self image? After an A the LBS is usually devastated and has their self-esteem shattered. Did you ever try to build that back up for her and make her the most important person in your life?
If after your A, you didn't do that and instead continued to be jealous and controlling, I can see why your W had reached the end of her rope.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
mr. bond her best friend told me i needed to send her flowers and a card wishing her good luck in her college finals. i dunno is that to much or a good idea?
