Luvless going to surviving the big D

[luvless]

Today was the day of my second bomb last year Dec 28 2009. He told me "I don't know if I should be married anymore...maybe we should separate?"

Funny bcuz he loves to throw bombs on me. I just found out last night about a very lucritive job position he has obtained (was in the making since last year)....a big step for him (or the advancement of our WOULD BE family)...a press release. Can you say sick to your stomach?

Anyway here I was trying to be fair...praying for him...not trying to degrade him or take him for "everything" and he didn't think the same of me...of course he didn't.

What was I thinking?

[buenosuerte]

Luvless,

Our lives have followed a somewhat parallel path. I have been seperated for 14 mnths, I filed for d in nov 10 and had stbxh served dec 22, 2010.

i used to do things with him in mind, oh if i did this he wouldn't approve, or would hurt his feelings, I stopped that craziness.

point is, wah do not have us in mind or the family they have destroyed. he and i don't even speak at this point. he doesn't respond to texts about the children, not about their welfair nothing, he will respond to say yeah money is being put in your account today, but nothing more.

after a while i stopped answering his questions during our child exchanges, he never would answer mine so why should i answer his. my comment to him today was, hey the faster you respond to the divorce, the faster we can settle the faster we can be divorced.

i can't help but feel he is hurt by this, like oh yeah she's gonna just keep doing nothing to move the divorce forward, yes he laid it all on me to file, like you i remember your posts detailing how you could not take it anymore, limbo, not moving forward nothing, i'm in that same boat.

sadly we will be tied to these lack of better word, men for the rest of our lives, or should i say children's lives. they don't get it, some do some don't. it does not matter married or divorced getting along is necessary when children are involved.

my first marriage, we did nto do this at all, we have not spoken to one another in 10 years unless it has been in court, daughters high school graduation, his wife waited for me at the door, two strangers that were once married had a daughter together do not even speak at all. while our now 19 year old daughter was growing up, our divorce decree was law and the bible. if it wasn't in the papers, signed by a judge there was no leeway for nothing.
my stbxh now does not understand anything about this, i don't reallyt hink he cares.

problem is we do think, we care, we are human and what was our h's are gone. that is how they deal with it, i don't know, and not going to care,.

here's a joke i mention, i'm a sarcastic person and LIVEd aLOT. my 1st x husband had to leave the state when we got divorced
my 2nd x husband had to leave the country, returned to NL
my 3rd, well......deportation???

[luvless]

wow bueno that's alot you've been through. I don't know if I ever plan on getting remarried. It would take a hell of a man to get me. I figured I had my long term marriage and I'm done. I gave my heart to one guy for 23 yrs and I just don't think I have it in me to do it again...who knows?

take care and thanks for posting