Will the madness never end?????

[lea74]

I received an email today from XH saying that with immediate effect I can no longer email him on the email address I have been using for the past 20 years, but now have to address all emails to:

paul-and-OWathot.........

This is just crazy. I am not going to send emails to my XH about my sons, the only reason I would need to contact him, that are addressed to her as well.

He has been told in court, that OW is not a parent, has no parenting rights or responsibility and all communcaiton should be between us.

I know that some may say that this is just a small thing and that I should get over it. However, there is a principle involved. For all our M, XH controlled me and told me what to do and now he still feels he can. I don’t feel I can move forward if I allow him to continue to control me and tell me how things will happen. I have set a boundary and said that if I cant use that old email address I will send him all communication via postal mail.

They both do really think that they are above the law. He has been told that contact is for him as the parent, yet OW, still continues to text my sons when they are with me. This is an invasion of our privacy and our home and also it is just inappropriate for a 33 year old woman to text two boys 8 and 10, she is not even their stepthing yet!!! I don’t approve of young children having a cell phone and the only reason they have one is so that XH and I can contact them when they are in each other’s care. They still deserve to be children and I don’t even let them text or phone their friends. They have plenty of time for that when they are old enough.

[figgeroni]

you can snail mail them if you want

or

you can take back control

if this feels controlling to you
(and it would to me)

then take it back

fine...email him at whatever his new address is
tell him about the boys
but let it be your choice

even if he doesn't know you are chosing to email him instead of snail mailing him

it is still your choice to do it

remember...you can not be controlled if you are making choices

One of my favorite quotes (aside from suzy's surfing one) is Our past does not equal our future...
because he controlled you before does not mean he can now
because he thinks he took away your choices, doesn't mean he has...you can snail mail him, email him at his old address, not contact him about the kids at all unless he contacts you and asks, there are a myriad of choices you have
one is to email him at the new email address
and
you can laugh everytime you do because how juvenile is that?
how important does he think he is?
I mean really...like you want that pos back anyway
let her have him and all his obvious insecurities and little man syndrome because YIKES!!!

whatever

that kind of shitte makes me roll my eyes...
whatever big guy
there are so many more important things in your life than his cracked up relationship with skankerella

[lea74]

Thanks, that really makes alot of sense. I was thinking about it, and yes I agree. How absolutely pathetic to change an email address to include her name. You are so right - it is so childish and pathetic. In fact, why did I even bother to respond. To me it is just an indication of how much control she has in the relationship and in fact how insecure she is. I also find is so pathetic that he actually cant parent our sons 96 hours a month without her input!! Sad really.

I guess I really need to turn things on its head these days, and not see it as directed at me, but rather he is just a really insecure and childish man!! Sad - not the man I M.

((( ))))

[lea74]

Love the term Skankerella as well - I will keep that in mind from now on. (I dont like to use her name as it is far too close to my own.)

Throughtout our time together, 21 years, we never had joint bank accounts (which they now do) or joint email addresess. We opened each others mail and were totally and utterly honest with each other - well unless the last two years anyway. There was nothing to hide, we respected each others space, and I trusted him whole heartedly!!

I guess I am now understanding why he is (and so is she by defalut) to make it absolutely clear to everyone that they are together. Hence the engagement after only 4 months - I think it was more of an entrapment and staking her claim rather than love and starting a life together.