1. Did your husband ever explain his "position" on the marriage etc, to your daughters?
Not that I know of. He reportedly sat passively when they first confronted him about his A, his leaving and his lack of communication with me. He offered no explanation at all to them at that time, and the only one I received was that he had been "unhappy in the marriage for some time."
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2. Did the two of you ever try a weekend retreat or something like the 2 day intensive with Michele Weiner-Davis?
No. My H repeatedly and flatly refused to participate in counseling of any sort as things deteriorated. It was easier, somehow, to just run, regardless of the pain it brought to those of us who knew and loved him best, than to face whatever was inside. That both saddens and scares me.
Back56, I don't believe I would make the stipulation you are considering. You cannot enforce it. If you make that a condition of your participation in a mediation, it could easily backfire, and push things into a full-blown and ugly divorce. Instead, I suggest you concentrate your efforts on gathering data and finding representation, so that if/when your H does propose a division of assets, you are prepared to go forward in a way that will protect you and your children. Doing so doesn't mean you agree with your H's path, only that you recognize it is his to choose, and you will do what you need to do for your family going forward.
I think I will now skip over to your thread to see what you've been up to!
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
