My wife admitted she had an affair with a married man, but she won't reveal who the OM is. She says it was over 18 months ago, and that there is no need to drag it up. I have read many different posts on here about this same topic, and I am wondering is it worth trying to find out, or just let it go. We are seperated and live in different houses about 10 miles apart, so I have no access to try to find anything out. I was wondering what others on here have experienced regarding a similiar sitch. Thanks.
Thats a tough one for me I had to know but at the same time i pretty much figured it out with the first line of questioning. If you have any ideas and you plan to ask questions read about body language first. If you need that for closure then she needs to know that. I had every males face in the world running throug my head and could not shut it off I suspected everyone. It may depend on your intentions with the relationship as well? Others may have more advice I am painfully new at this it is a roller coaster hang in there.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
How do you know it is actually over? What if he is someone she still has contact with co-worker, neighbor or mutal friend. She may have remained friends with this person. Bottom-line you need to know who he is and that he is away from your wife period!!! Right now she is protecting the OM and that is a bad sign for any future recovery!!
ILF, I agree she is protecting the other man, and I do believe that this makes our own chance at recovery much more difficult. I plan on trying to find this out on my own by doing my due diligence work. In the coming weeks I will unearth more info. Thanks.
FWIW, it really doesn't matter about the OM. She hasn't come clean about it, so that shows you where her head is at. If it's not this guy it's going to be someone else and you're going to be spinning your wheels trying to figure out who THAT guy is.
What focus have you put on yourself rather than the A?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
MB, I have totally worked on myself...and I have been using the 180 technique alot. I have read 6-8 books including MWD... DB and DR and Gary Chapman's works...and HN/HN Dr Harley and Love Busters Dr Harley. I have spent the last 5-6 months getting myself repaired and finding out what right looks like for me, and I am doing a good job of it.
