In the aftermath of my wifes EA/PA dealing with the I love you not in Love with you. The "affair break up " was about a month ago. I responded in all the wrong ways first few weeks. She became self protective, angry, resentful. The roller coaster. I have done a few 180's avoiding R talk as much as possible. I have started to notice a subtle change in her behavior. I am being more pleasant so she is. She is begining to open up a little. She actually will allow a friendly touch vs pulling away like i am the plague.We are holding normal conversations avoiding R talk. But now what? With schedules we really have a week of minimal contact, 4 days of none do I go dark on those days? Do those subtle changes mean anything? Thanks to any and all who respond.
I am trying to figure out what is working vs if she is just pretending. She says she still plans to seperate I told her to spend this week away she did with minimal contact. But I cannot tell if she is putting up a front or is acting nice out of sincerity. She quick to end the good night call to kids and the other stickler of the week is a confirmed call from OM for closure. She was angry again after that calm again today. I feel like I am on a loop de loop.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
More on my story.....well it has just taken a turn, promising it is not, I think now that her subtle changes were to be polite here is the basiscs of what was revealed tonight.
So we just had a talk about the A and a little of how we our marriage got there. It was a polite conversation she now looks distressed but probably because the reality is she is done, I don't think any method will bring this back unless you with more experience believe otherwise. The conversation consisted of how she had been unhappy for a long time her body language response to 5 years would be that long. She says that she thought it was just the way it was suppssed to be so she did not speak up all that time. I told her if she only had i would have worked to fix it. She is not over the OM she is not in love with me anymore. I don't think 180's will do here. She wants to find a place and move out she believes the children will not miss her, she doesn't see any other way. Says she wasn't happy for years and I should have seen it, but how do you pick up on these things with a W whose personality is quiet not super loud ROFL there's little to detect. So Really is there a chance to bring her back or do I just face it and hold her off until after the holidays to tell the children. My last glimmer of hope is burning out.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
