Time, I was in the area, she was polite and I figured it was a no harm no foul. We didnt discuss any R or M talk. it was light. I know she wants to divorce me and I am not trying to change her mind. I want her out of my house. That hasnt changed.
Guess it was a no no.
Serenity, I will remember that. Thanks. You live and you learn. That is why I keep coming back.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
As for "running here to start a thread", I am looking for support and I appreciate the comments made. No need to be pointed. I thought this was supposed to be a place to seek that support?
It absolutely is, but I had the same, apparently, 'pointed' thought about the new-thread-a-day approach you seem to take. It's much easier to follow someone when they stay put until their thread is so long that it's time for them to lock the old and start a new one. I believe most of us follow "people" rather than "titles". Also, frankly, "WAW...wow" is not particularly descriptive, and "Drop the rope" vs. "Rope drop and day to day existence" are not startlingly different, either. People are here for you and interested in the developments; we just don't need a new thread so very often.
Time, Yea you have a point. Ego is tough, and the funny part is I truly am a humble person.
Question, IF she is dumped by OM, and now is coming around, should I continue to keep the rope on the ground? My sense says YES, until she is willing to demonstrate she is committed to the M and so far I have not seen that. This is the walk... I dont want to flip flop and I dont want to miss a genuine opportunity to R is she is sincere. Knowing is the problem.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Question, IF she is dumped by OM, and now is coming around, should I continue to keep the rope on the ground? My sense says YES, until she is willing to demonstrate she is committed to the M and so far I have not seen that. This is the walk... I dont want to flip flop and I dont want to miss a genuine opportunity to R is she is sincere. Knowing is the problem.
Oh my goodness, YES! Yes - you don't do a thing (not even have lunch) until she says she wants the M. And even then, you don't do a thing until she demonstrated complete transparency. Otherwise, you'll probably be looking at OM2 just around the corner. If you are two easy to slip in and out of a relationship with, no reason to take her dog out of the hunt.
Next time she asks for a lunch date with you, pal, "I can't - have plans. Thanks, though." Not rude. Just not available. To her.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Mine has turned completely PB, so I ssay wait. In 8 weeks mine went from "I don't know" to "lets makes plans". I knew OM stuff would play out but not this quick. I'm sure it does not usually happen this fast but they were not together long, it was more of a drinking buddy and stuff thing. When she was done with him she cut him off quick. As the guys here said, keep moving on. My WAW knew I was going out with the fellas and this weekend she actually faced the folks we know, so I know that was tough for her. The threat that I used worked in my sitch but we were apart and threatening to "cut her off' from me was what I think did it. M-48 W-38 M-9 yrs Bomb-labor day weekend She left 9/9 Reconciliatin? TBD
I knew that. It is nice to hear it from someone else. Thanks NO lunch, NO nothing. Dont be available to her.
Ato, Thanks for your opinion. Greek hit it perfectly. Rope Stays on the Ground. I am indifferent about it and not all melty because she needed a hug because her OM probably dumped her.. she can face her consequences. They wont be with me.
on a good note, I am going to start getting paid again on my contract so I will be contributing MORE money so she cant use an excuse for not moving out.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Am I right?