You know, perhaps spending Christmas with them could bring up painful memories for him or something--why else would he not want to be with the kids? Or OW's family has major plans and they come first? I know we can't mindread...but you KNOW that he loves his kids and wouldn't just not want to see them!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Wishing you a blessed Christmas! It sounds as though you have a lot of family fun planned. Savor each expression of love from your family and friends. You deserve them!
I'm thinking of you and want to thank you for making me feel so welcome when I first began posting on the MLC board.
GAG and SA-hope you are both enjoying your day too!
I was but now I am kinda sad! H showed up unexpectedly today. SS and his family were here and we were all having a great time when H walked in bearing gifts for the grandkids. I noticed him first and cheerfully said hi! SS and DIL didn't really say anything...
If you remember, he told me the other day that he didn't plan on picking up the kids until tomorrow and then would keep them a couple of days cause he had time off.
The boys opened their gifts and played for a bit with them while we all watched. Kids had H open the gifts they had gotten them and SS asked DIL if she was ready to go. So, they left earlier than planned and then H asked the kids if they were ready to go. I told him that they were not as they didn't expect him to come until tomorrow as that is what we last talked about. He said "oh, sorry about that...I forgot to call you". So, the kids packed up some clothes quickly and H talked about how the pick up wasn't starting and he would look at it blah, blah, blah. Kids were ready and I asked him when they would be home and he said probably tomorrow unless they wanted to stay longer but that they'd probably be bored.
I asked him to please call me and let me know if they were going to stay an extra night.
I wasn't prepared for them to be gone today..we had plans. So, now I am sitting here alone. DIL said she got ahold of him yesterday and asked him if he wanted to stop by when he picked up the kids and he hem hawed around giving her the impression that he wouldn't. We were all shocked when he got here. Seriously, it went from lots of noise and laughter to total quiet. Everyone was here and then they were gone. I am grateful that I got to enjoy this morning with everyone...
I wonder what it felt like for H to walk in and see everyone here having fun?
I hope everyone is having a good day!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
What your H did is unbelievable. He is acting like a self-centered child. I'm so sorry that this happened. How disappointing for you and your children to have made plans and then have then interrupted. It always takes me awhile to make a mental adjustment when something like this happens. I hope that you can find something to occupy your mind this evening. Can you find a good movie on TV or rent a good DVD?
I agree with GAG. You should have told him you made plans with the kids as you were not expecting them to leave until tomorrow. Very rude of him to expect you to just change your plans to accomodate him.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
DIL invited me to their house as she was making a turkey. I went and had a great time! I was a target for the boys (H gave them nerf guns...ages 6+ and they are 2.5 and 4) and SS, DIL and I played Monopoly...I won btw!!!
Yes, it was unbelievable, rude and self-centered. I wrestled with asking him to come back tomorrow but decided to let it go. The kids seemed to be ok with going. I think a little work is needed with communication however!!!
It did take me a little while to make the mental adjustment as you put it GAG. I have never been good with "spur of the moment" and changing of plans so I will chalk this up to learning to be more flexible, going with the flow etc.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Showing up unannounced was rude and inconsiderate of you H....they don't seem to care about anybody's feelings or plans...whatever suit them at the moment...so you are right we have no choice but to learn to be more flexible, and don't sweat the small stuff...
Enjoy the rest of you Holidays
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
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