yes unfortunately in virginia, you have to wait a year to file anything with a child. So as far as that, nothing i can do til then, which of course will be too late. She would have to pay half when someone does file, but at that point credit would be destroyed, and i have already accepted that. I do want my family to be reconciled. Anyone have any DB tips at this point?
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Well, i thought i would drop in a say hello. It will be 15 months in a few days. Things have been up and down. We lost the house. WW still lives with parents. I have an apartment 5 minutes away, really convenient to pick up my son.
About a month ago, while her parents were out of town, she called me and got on the subject of reconciling. Saying she wanted to be obedient to God, the boys need a father, and she is tired of living with regrets. Tired of living with her mother. We talked to SS and he said he wanted to be a family again and missed me.
She share alot of things. Then she said the problem is i dont like you right now and i dont know where to start. Do we talk to your Pastor or Mine, etc. I said we just need to keep praying about it.
Then her parents come back home and she became real distant. I asked her about the week before and if i did anything wrong. She said no you didnt, i was having a bad week, i was lonely, and said some things i shouldnt have. I said i was glad you came to me to share.
Then a week later, i found out she is sending SS to a military school. 3 hours away. He is in a private christian school with straight A's. He left on Monday.
Then i received divorce papers yesterday.
I am a little disappointed. I have done all the right things i believe. I continue to see my son alot, he will be 3 next month. I havent missed a day with him, and i get him even more when its convenient for her.
Its very sad for the children, but i have learned alot about myself and i know i can not change anyones heart or mind. We all have to live with our choices and the consequences for those choices. My heart goes out to my SS. I know that isnt the place for him. Folks at church are in disbelief calling it insane that she chose to send him there.
I feel for every person on this site. One day, i pray that everyone will stop with the Me me me, and start thinkg about everyone else in the world. Especially the children.
Blessings to all.
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
You have been on this path once. Understand that when your W talked about reconciling, she did it when she felt needy. That's a roller coaster. Dont attach your feelings on them. Or you will regret them.
Grow stronger by yourself as a person. As a dad. Right now you are going through the hurt of losing a partner, friend etc. You need to get to a point where you are at peace with your issues and figure out a way to improve yourself. The rest will fall into place.
When my wife file for D last year, i was in the same boat emotionally as you. One year later when wife is talking about reconciling, I am now not too keen on it because i am happy now with where i am and i dont see any positive development in her. If the status quo does not change, no point getting back.
Accept what is and try to make your life happier and better. I know that right now lost of crazy thoughts will be running through the head. what about future, what about son's future, will be grow up okay etc. One suggestion i have is to give these thoughts a holiday for a while. I gave myself 1 year before i let all these crazy thoughts bother me. Lot of crazy stuff happened during this time. I let them all go. Now when i look back, none of the crazy looking stuff mattered. Giving yourself that time will lift an emotional burden you do not need right now.
good luck!
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
You have been on this path once. Understand that when your W talked about reconciling, she did it when she felt needy. That's a roller coaster. Dont attach your feelings on them. Or you will regret them.
Grow stronger by yourself as a person. As a dad. Right now you are going through the hurt of losing a partner, friend etc. You need to get to a point where you are at peace with your issues and figure out a way to improve yourself. The rest will fall into place.
When my wife file for D last year, i was in the same boat emotionally as you. One year later when wife is talking about reconciling, I am now not too keen on it because i am happy now with where i am and i dont see any positive development in her. If the status quo does not change, no point getting back.
Accept what is and try to make your life happier and better. I know that right now lost of crazy thoughts will be running through the head. what about future, what about son's future, will be grow up okay etc. One suggestion i have is to give these thoughts a holiday for a while. I gave myself 1 year before i let all these crazy thoughts bother me. Lot of crazy stuff happened during this time. I let them all go. Now when i look back, none of the crazy looking stuff mattered. Giving yourself that time will lift an emotional burden you do not need right now.
good luck!
Karma, thank you for responding, just looking at your signature, we have a very similiar path. So your D is not final yet? If you do see growth would you consider reconciling with your W? I am going to get caught up on your thread if you have one, it may help me.
Thansk
Blessings,
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
