Sounds like NC was the 180 that got her back last time. You earned her respect by not being too nice... you appeared to not care. I understand you have a baby now but the others are right... you need to have NC except about the baby. You need to earn her respect as a man.
(I know I'm new to the boards but I have 2 yrs DB experience in last marriage so a tiny bit of knowledge, and I am a woman so thought I'd throw that in from a female perspective)
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
How about "I realized your car is still on my policy, since we're getting a divorce, you need your own insurance. Here is the number to the insurance company. My premium is due on ______ so please make sure to take of this before then so you won't be driving around uninsured"? Gives her the info in a nice way, sets a deadline without being forceful.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
How about "I realized your car is still on my policy, since we're getting a divorce, you need your own insurance. Here is the number to the insurance company. My premium is due on ______ so please make sure to take of this before then so you won't be driving around uninsured"? Gives her the info in a nice way, sets a deadline without being forceful.
so you would even throw in the since we are getting a divorce? Is that a DB tactic?
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Well i probably had a major setback last night. I picked up S from the new daycare, and it was a dump. I could not believe she put him in there and called her about it. Of course she said alot of hurtful things, like you got alot of nerve i have seen where you grew up at, look where your mother just came from. Then of course started complaining about child support etc. she was yelling and screaming, said i dont even want to around you. She did not come to speech therapy, dont know if she planned on it. I asked her to please calm down, Dont talk to me like that, more accusations. Then a few hours later she called the house 10 times or so. Finally leaving a message in a nice tone, hey its me give me a call please.
Up the hill again on this emotional rollercoaster. Want to give up, but then want her back.....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
How about "I realized your car is still on my policy, since we're getting a divorce, you need your own insurance. Here is the number to the insurance company. My premium is due on ______ so please make sure to take of this before then so you won't be driving around uninsured"? Gives her the info in a nice way, sets a deadline without being forceful.
so you would even throw in the since we are getting a divorce? Is that a DB tactic?
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
i am paying all the bills no CS yet, she hasnt filed because i think the judge would make her cover the bills whats left over after the CS. She stopped by this morning unannounced said she needed her journals. Its been 3 months. I think since she texted me yesterday asking about the baby and telling me what time to bring him home. I didnt respond, so i had a feeling that she may think something was wrong even though i told her i would contact her if there was ever a problem. I found out the new sitter does not have a license and hasnt passed a state inspection since 2005. She said she researched the person. I feel so sorry for my son, the place is a dump and very small, they have 12 children in there. I told her i wanted him in the goddard school of course she responded she wasnt paying for it. even though she put her son in a 9K a year private school a month after she left. I just wish i could get out of this house and get my own place. It too big and too many memories......Since i hadnt heard from anyone on the above, i said since we are getting a divorce, (first time ive ever said that word to her) can you get you try and get your own insurance? She had a deep pause.... and then said ok.......Waiting for my son to wake up then have to drop him off. May look at some apartments or head up to the sports bar. Very hard to find anyone to hang out as all our friends were married......
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Just wanted to check in and maybe get some tips. Going on being seperated for almost 7 months now. House still hasnt sold. I am giving W $600 per month for CS. W never did offer to help with any bills. Nothing i can do about it. I have been pretty dark for a while with the exception of dealing with S.
My SS did ask me to go to counseling with him a few weeks ago. Was all positive. His real father is being mean to him once again and hasnt seen him in over a year and a half. A few weeks ago i sent her a text saying i was thinking about her and i missed her. No response.
Over this past weekend. She called me to ask me to pray for SS because his dad was being mean again. Later in the day, i text her saying thank you for being a great and loving mother. She responded saying thanks.
So thats were i am at now. Havnet had any relationship talk, no begging, pleading or nothing. Just spending alot of time with my son and doing other things.
Doesnt seem like there is any movement in either direction. Where do i go from here.
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
May look at some apartments or head up to the sports bar. Very hard to find anyone to hang out as all our friends were married......