Effective DBing/ Feedback and Coaching

[ArnieBGood]

Just a point-of-information, Mr. Chairman, but many would contend that affairs constitute "abuse."

So you don't see any difference between an affair and hitting or verbal belittling.

[Coach]

Just a point-of-information, Mr. Chairman, but many would contend that affairs constitute "abuse."

So you don't see any difference between an affair and hitting or verbal belittling.

What are the effects?

[ArnieBGood]

Just a point-of-information, Mr. Chairman, but many would contend that affairs constitute "abuse."

So you don't see any difference between an affair and hitting or verbal belittling.

What are the effects?

So perhaps you do see them as the same. If so, maybe you would be willing to express why they are the same.

[Starsky309]

Just a point-of-information, Mr. Chairman, but many would contend that affairs constitute "abuse."

So you don't see any difference between an affair and hitting or verbal belittling.

Yes, I do. I also see a lot of similarities between unrepentant, continued infidelity, and emotional abuse.

Starsky

[Coach]

Just a point-of-information, Mr. Chairman, but many would contend that affairs constitute "abuse."

So you don't see any difference between an affair and hitting or verbal belittling.

What are the effects?

So perhaps you do see them as the same. If so, maybe you would be willing to express why they are the same.

Nope, I asked the question for a reason. You answer first, please.

[TimeHeals]

I'm with you guys on this one: having an affair IS most certainly abusive toward your spouse. You don't make excuses for abusers.

I don't see any real difference between, "I'm sorry, Baby, but I wouldn't call you a stupid b*tch if you would just listen to me" and...

"I'm sorry baby, I had an affair because you didn't make me feel special".

Both are utter BS.

People are responsible for their own actions. Period.

[Steve McQueen]

what if you come home one afternoon and your husband is in bed naked spooning some guy that looks like hulk hogan.


are they responsible for that or is this just the natural course of things?

[TimeHeals]

Yes, I am pretty sure he is responsible for what he is doing... all of the time unless somebody is holding a gun to his head or such.

[Steve McQueen]

so realizing you are homosexual is a conscious choice?

[TimeHeals]

Steve... I hate now. That image is stuck in my head

BTW, I thought of the codependent's excuse for this while trying to erase the image from my mind:

"Poor guy. His wife wasn't meeting his needs... for macho man love".