Thank you so very, very much for your compassion and insight. I haven't started a thread yet because, truth be told, I couldn't figure out how to do it. So it's just now that I saw you guys responded! I intend to get in, however, and post more because the support and knowledge is wonderful.'
It's been 4 months now and she is still gone. I am full blown into DB behavior, had a dozen coaching sessions or more and will get more as I scare up the money. It helps and I've note SOME progress, but truthfully not as much as I'd hoped. It hasn't been that long and the DB process works to make ME act like and become a better person, so it's worth it either way. No question I've knocked her off balance by doing the right thing and practicing the 180 deg list behaviors. But God it's hard. . . . . requires the patience of a saint and the self-control of a super-human. My wife never really had a plan for this big "adventure" and her behavior continues to amaze me . . . . as the coach said, you almost feel like an 'alien' has inhabited the body and mind of the person you love. Who is this person????
Anyway, hard as it is I plan to stay the course for the duration, get my wife and family back if possible, but most of all do what is right and necessary for my kids (2 teenage daughters). They know, and will always know, that I am not leaving and they are my priority, now and forever.
