I have a friend that took an out of state job, and the friend has a house out of town that they want me to go over to and do some maint. and help maintain a little. The house is near some good places to go fishing because it is near the lake. I was planning on starting to go up there on the weekends. My wife is a WAW that moved to another place about 10 min. from our house, and she will eventually figure out that I am out of town alot because she talks to a female lady friend that lives next door to us. My question is about GAL program because I need to do this to keep my mind occupied, but I do not want her to get the idea that I am with another woman because I am not doing that. How mysterious should a guy let's this become?? Should you just say I am out of town...and leave it at that? I have read reports of spouses that make it appear as though they are with friends...just to make the WAW feel jealous...I know this can backfire if you are not careful. I am just looking for suggestions on what has worked for others here.
If your still worried what your waw thinks you are right you need to do your homework gal and get past this point. A woman can and will pick up on this and she will use it aginst you. I say fake it until you make it when you make it you will no longer care what she thinks. So if going out of town keeps your mind busy then go for it, but anything you do do for you not her.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I can't remember about kids in your sitch and you didn't post a signature. If there are no kids and you are separated(not an "in the same house" sep), you don't really owe her any explanations. However, if she eventually asks you can be non-specific and tell her your going fishing to help clear your head, have fun or something like that. If this is not a new GAL activity for you, it shouldn't raise alarms. If you do have kids, just make sure your GAL activity doesn't take away from them.
By the way, I've read so many posts about how to "make it look like you're doing ...so your S will react...". This is not DB technique at all. DB is about making sincere changes for yourself and if your spouse happens to react positively, great. If not, you've done something to make your life better long term. When you look at it through that lens, the fake dating really doesn't make sense. The only time dating "works" is when you are at the point when you have let go and are ready to move on. If you're not there yet, I wouldn't even give the appearance of dating. It would backfire for sure.
We have three children...two in college and one still at home. I go fishing all the time, but this would take away from my seeing our elementary school child. I did not plan on doing it to make it look like fake dating because I believe that could easily backfire. When I finally told our college aged children they were very upset, and it has taken them awhile to speak to the WAW.
