Anybody else dealing with an EX or a STBX that seems to think that the world of divorce is going to be some sort of hollywood movie reality??
Somehow my STBXW thinks that we (me, her, our girls) are all going to live happily ever after in a divorced relationship. She stated the other night that her dream is that we would live a few houses away from each other and our kids would just run from house to house. We would spend all kinds of time together and be the closest friends ever. If either of us winds up ith someone new they would understand this "bond" and would be fine with it. She also joked that she was going to be a "pain in the ass Ex" because she would be calling or dropping by all the time, telling me what she thought about who I was dating and if they measured up, asking my opinion on all sorts of things or for help around her house...
The "funny" part is she has never asked if that is what I see. She has decided for me that I would love it. She has also stated that I deserve to be with my perfect partner...
Anybody else dealing with this sort of "Fantasy Divorce?" How the hell can staying married ever compete with THAT??? She's not even in the realm of reality...
M 06/08 D10, D8 1st S 05/10 I move out Move back 07/10 same bed then me in guest room 2nd S 09/10 W out one week W back 09/10 W in guest room D-bomb 10/10 S - living together No D yet filed
If either of us winds up ith someone new they would understand this "bond" and would be fine with it.
Well, that's not going to happen. A classy lady with high self-esteem and high integrity can find a man who doesn't have an ex-wife all up in his business all of the time.
So that would narrow your potential dating pool down to trashy women with low self-esteem and little integrity. Not the cream of the crop.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I am actually in almost an exact same position of you right now, differences are that my W is still in an EA and has moved into her own apartment, I have two small children also. She has told me a lot of the same things that you are saying, I think this is an important time to remember the don't believe anything she says/does thing. My W has come off of the fantasy a bit since she moved out, I think reality has started to set in, I am GAL and have cut off most communication with her, she now initiates daily contact so I can see that approach does work. I'm not sure what to tell you, hopefully others will have good advice I can apply too.
It is an extremely sad situation, WAW are'nt living in reality.
anothercasualty...I just have to ask you...as your wife was spewing this fantasy divorce scnario, what were you doing? Just listening and trying not to puke?
Because the thing is....as you are sitting there just even listening to her spew this, you are tacitly agreeing to it, in her mind.
If you have self-respect, you will hold your hand up in her face within the first 30 seconds of spew and say "just hold it right there...that is NOT how our divorce will be so you may as well save your breath". Then let her fuss, cry, try to argue, or whatever she wants to do, but don't even address further.
The fact that you even heard her out has now put you in a position of weakness, and she thinks you thoroughly agree with her every word. Sorry...you kinda blew this one.
Sorry, my wife wrote that script and submitted it to MGM for production. It's now appearing in Nebraska at local theaters...
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
Originally Posted By: TimeHeals
Well, that's not going to happen. A classy lady with high self-esteem and high integrity can find a man who doesn't have an ex-wife all up in his business all of the time.
That's what I was thinking... but how did I answer her?? "Hmmm... you never know..."
Seriously, She has no OM. She just "has a dream" and I'm just wondering if anyone else is competing with a dream that doesn't even contain ANY reality???
M 06/08 D10, D8 1st S 05/10 I move out Move back 07/10 same bed then me in guest room 2nd S 09/10 W out one week W back 09/10 W in guest room D-bomb 10/10 S - living together No D yet filed
anothercasualty...I just have to ask you...as your wife was spewing this fantasy divorce scnario, what were you doing? Just listening and trying not to puke?
Because the thing is....as you are sitting there just even listening to her spew this, you are tacitly agreeing to it, in her mind.
If you have self-respect, you will hold your hand up in her face within the first 30 seconds of spew and say "just hold it right there...that is NOT how our divorce will be so you may as well save your breath". Then let her fuss, cry, try to argue, or whatever she wants to do, but don't even address further.
The fact that you even heard her out has now put you in a position of weakness, and she thinks you thoroughly agree with her every word. Sorry...you kinda blew this one.
Yeah, I gotta agree there. It did get me sex that night (small consolation) but now she feels like I'm all on board. Since then I have just minimized contact, spoken nothing about the futue, an have told her that this weekend we are going through ALL of the finances and separating out our assets and debts. She seemed shocked at first then meekly said OK...
M 06/08 D10, D8 1st S 05/10 I move out Move back 07/10 same bed then me in guest room 2nd S 09/10 W out one week W back 09/10 W in guest room D-bomb 10/10 S - living together No D yet filed
