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Originally Posted By: Bobby
I told my wife had she stayed in the house and not told me to date and move on that the affair would never have happened.


So tit for tat?

Is that how it works?

Bobby you have professed there was no R with OW and no affair.

You know an emotional affair is an affair don't you?

Do you think she may have a point?

I am not telling you to sacrifice yourself for this I am trying to get you to see your part in this.

You mentioned defending yourself.

Defending what exactly?

Your opinion of the situation?

Something she interprets differently than you?

If it stings it is probably something YOU need to address in YOU.

Everything else should be water off a duck's back right?


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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Bobby O Offline OP
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Well things continue to happen. My wife stopped by twice on Sunday unannounced with my 2 daughters. Things were pleasant and as if nothing ever happened. Yesterday my wife kept sending text messages that showed anger. Last night my son and fiance stopped by and will stay the week. My wife again stopped by and things were very pleasant. I sent her a text last night and told her she looked great and she said I did too. I told her that I missed her and loved her and hoped we could settle our differnces. I have not received a reply but at least she knows the door is open. I feel like she is coming around and maybe we will not end up divorced. I continue to give her space and hope we are able to stay together. Bobby O

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Bobby O Offline OP
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There maybe some positive things that have happened over these last several weeks. My wife has agreed to go into individual counseling and she told me in a text that she is confused. She said she knows she hurt me and is very sorry for this. I told her that I thought counseling is a good idea. She text me last night that she wanted to say good night and that she is thinking of me. I believe she is making a genuine effort and for this I am grateful. I will still meet with my counselor to see if he can help me with issues my wife had with me which I am aware of. I think things are improving and I do believe this board and program have helped me. Will stay in touch. Bobby O

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Bobby,

Thank you for updating us. Please keep in touch and we wish you all the best!

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Bobby O Offline OP
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Thanks Seeking. This has been one hell of a ride for the last eighteen months. I think things will improve but it will take a lot of work on both our parts. There were times I wanted to just give up but my feelings inside would not allow that to happen. I am very much in love with my wife. I never stopped loving her. I did things that I know now made her react the way she did. I know how to improve and will never make these mistakes again. I have known my wife for more than half my life. She is my best friend and will always be a part of me. Will continus to update. God Bless. Bobby O

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