May go from Piecing to The Big D

[v1olin]

Last night gave her the "I've been too understanding as a partner..." Robx script.

Her response - "I befriended someone because you were a lousy husband. I slept with him after the marriage was over.I don't have a drinking problem"

She followed up with "I don't want you back...you cold heartless selfish person"

Wow, just tell her that you are happy for her and wish her well. Go on your merry way and live your life to the fullest.

[Starsky309]

Yep -- agree. This is where you need to learn the fine art of what we call "Smile and Wave."

Slept with him after the marriage was over, eh? Was this AFTER some divorce decree I missed? Not sure; I'm new here.

Starsky

[v1olin]

Yep, arguing about when, why, she slept with someone is beside the point-it is a losing battle to argue with a WAW. Agreeing with her by saying, "I am happy you found someone, I want to find someone too." is just another form of letting them go. What is that old saying about freeing a caged bird?

[soleil]

Yep -- agree. This is where you need to learn the fine art of what we call "Smile and Wave."

Exactly. Congratulate her and keep on moving.

[v1olin]

I also gotta say, Robx has given you some great advice! Follow it.

[loweinsd51]

Yes Robx has given pinnacle advice and I thank all that have responded today so far.

Funny thing is she told me in June "I'm done with you...go find someone else" then two and a half months later "lets try to work through our issues"

Who knows anymore...hour by hour turns into day by day

[v1olin]

Funny thing is she told me in June "I'm done with you...go find someone else" then two and a half months later "lets try to work through our issues"

Who knows anymore...hour by hour turns into day by day

Do you remember WHY she did a 180 like that? Letting them go/standing up for yourself, works in your type of situation.

[loweinsd51]

Do you remember WHY she did a 180 like that? Letting them go/standing up for yourself, works in your type of situation.

Yes...for the reason that you stated

[soleil]

Yep, tables turn and her most recent response to you was:

Her response - "I befriended someone because you were a lousy husband. I slept with him after the marriage was over.I don't have a drinking problem"

She followed up with "I don't want you back...you cold heartless selfish person"


LET HER GO. Let her have her FREEdom in spades! Do a total 180 and GAL your bum off. Be a good dad to your kids. She will be weirded out when you are acting independent, not fawning all over her, she will think, What has gotten into him?

If she wants to drink herself to death and shag other men -- not your problem!

Please get tested for STDs.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I agree with getting the appraisal done in the house and moving forward.
This is what I did, I started to prepare myself for life after W. Make her feel she's losing you and that you'll be just fine without her.