Since my last post, I have been really trying to GAL and DB. I have been out with family, made plans with friends, and not initiated any conversations on the phone or thru texting with my H. We have not talked at all in two days. First question is about the bills. Before I left, H asked me to help remind him about the bills this first month while he got used to paying them online. I made a list for him of everything and when it was due before I left (he wanted this and i hoped some space would help us). I went over there one day within the first week I was gone to show him how to use the online banking to pay. Right now, the house payment is a few days late. I am not on the home loan and therefore not responsible or liable for it. My first instinct is to text him one message just to let him know it has not been paid yet. But I think that DBing would mean not texting him since I have already made him a list that he should be keeping up with. Second question is about his sister. She is 18 and planning on marrying the father of her child at the end of January. She may or may not know that we are living apart. I am not sure. She has asked for my help since I just got married back in May with a few things. Should I help her since he is not involved and hardly talks to her or is that crossing the DB line?
Do NOT contact him about the payment. That would fall into you have become his "mommy" category. That turns men off.
Yes for his sister getting your help. IF.. and I do mean IF... IF you can help her without it being secretly about him. I have seen it over and over in these situations where the BS uses the family of the WS to gather intel or to keep the channel open... Do NOT talk to her about him. If you are just trying to be coy by helping her so that you can find out more about him, then you are only hurting your own chances. Do not LIE TO YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR REASONS EITHER..
Both of these questions you ask sound suspiously like you are seeking an excuse to contact him or find out what he is up to.
I wanted to, but still haven't. Today, he text me and I text back a simple response. Ten minutes later he called. I was in the middle of ordering and didn't answer. I went ahead and ate with my grandmother after ordering before I called him back. He said he didn't want to talk to me now, that I should have called back or at least text him instead of just not answering. Why would this annoy him since i called him 20 minutes later unless he is just looking for something to be mad at me about? I asked if he was serious and he said yes and we got off the phone. Now, I'm wanting to text him and justify not calling him right back because of this or that and tell him that I had planned to call him on my way back to work when I would be alone but why should I? When he had a friend over and didn't answer, that was suppose to be normal and fine. But yet, I still feel like I should tell him . . . .
Stop doing what you think is the "right"thing to do. Do not text him back.
If he confronts you again about not answering just say you were in the middle of something. It's not uncommon for some to be busy and not be able to anwer a call.
Did he leave a message?
If not, then how important was his call?
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