Had my therapy session this morning and the only time I cried was at the end when I thanked her for all she's helped me with. When I started going to her, I was in a dark place, literally contemplating suicide. She saw me through the struggles with my job, fighting for my marriage, then coming to a place that I am so happy just to be alive.
There is a dent on my kitchen floor where I threw a plate the night I drove off in a horrible snow storm and tried to figure out how to wreck my car so that it would be fatal and still look like an accident. I used to hate that dent....now I look at it as the event that woke me up and took me on a journey to happiness. I called to start therapy the day after I took that drive.
I told her I thought our sessions were done and that I think she's given me the tools to go it alone. It was almost like she didn't want them to end. She let me know that if I ever needed anything, she was just a phone call away and gave me her cell number.
I am blessed!
After the session I went on a 5 mile run though a beautiful path that has water running by it, the leaves are changing and the air is crisp. It felt amazing. I think I smiled the whole way!
I'm not scared to be alone anymore because I know I'm not. I have my little guy, great friends and family. I'm only alone if I chose to be.
I hope someone reads this and can see that it's possible, to GAL and come out of these horrible situations a stronger and healthier person!
This will be my last post. Take care all....be good to yourselves!
Kat
Me:38 H: 45 OW:34 S:4 Bonus S: 12 and 16 2nd M for both Together 12 yrs M: 6 EA suspected: 5/10 confirmed: 7/2/10 Separated: 8/12/10
