My girls are devastated and did not attend. I took off from work just to keep them busy so they wouldn't have time to think. D16 is just angry - doesn't speak to OW and is distancing herself (again) from XH. D14 is just sad. Feels like she lost her dad. It is heartbreaking to watch this, knowing that there is nothing I can do to mend her heart. Both girls are predicting a divorce within 5 years. That tears me apart - that they think that a marriage can just be thrown away now.
I really don't know how I feel about it. I didn't shed a tear today. I am more upset that the girls have a step mother and step sisters, although neither acknowledge this. And I continue to be completely baffled by OW's behavior. She comforted me at the beginning of my separation - we were friends. Her XH cheated on her - how can she do this to another woman?
I don't come here much anymore - I now have the girls all the time and, as a result, have very little time. I look at all the names here - new names - and it is just so sad and so hard to comprehend. It is so painful to read some of these stories - they all mirror one another with just different details.
Very sorry to hear of your sadness and uncomfortable position. As to why people do these things to people they once considered friends, who knows. Self preservation is strong instint, and I think that comes into play more often than not. Also, the need to feel desirable once again after being cheated on. So they turn on the charm to the most available person, their friend's spouse.
As you can tell, I have given this thought. My H cheated with his XBF's wife 8 years ago. I considered her a friend of mine. Makes for ugly.
Be there for your daughters, but take care of yourself, as well. A year from now seems like a very long time, but a year from now this will be a drop in the bucket. Life changes constantly, that we know. Your daughters are old enough to make their own decisions about their Dad's R with new wife. My advice, stay out of it as much as humanly possible.
Go out today and do something nice for yourself. ((HUGS))
Hi W8 sorry to hear about your xh M and the girls so upset It isa very hard and the hardest part now is the kids they seem to thrive though through the pain and loss it is out of our control but you seem very in control of you your girls will be ok no it may never be the same' I guess life is like that;there are thorns we may not know why and maybe it will never make sense but we can choose to be happy and continue on the journey the kids will follow and will be lucky to have a strong and couragous mom peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Thank you, Punkin...and I'm so sorry that a similar thing happened to you. XH's new wife was dating XH's best friend so our situations are the same. It just makes a very difficult situation all the more difficult. XH has already thrown some things back at me that I said to his W. It is just another layer of betrayal.
Peace - thank you so much for checking in. You have been there for me through the worst. I keep hoping the worst is behind me now. I mean, what more can he do to the girls...to me? I don't know if the girls will be okay - that is the part that concerns me. D16 has made some pretty bad choices with regards to guys in her life and I wonder if it is bad teenage choices or bad choices because of the D.
Forward - I think the step thing is one of the most difficult...that she will be there at graduations, weddings...all of the things you look forward to as a parent are now something that will bring anxiety.
Rough week. Basement taking on water again and I don't know why. Had school event for D16 and she hissed at me because I didn't save a seat for XH and he was alone sitting in the back. Last week she wasn't talking to him and I wasn't aware that that had changed. And D14 specifically requested not to sit with him. He didn't even come to us looking for a seat. But I somehow was the bad guy! Never mind how many countless times I have saved a seat and he hasn't shown up! Finally met with attorney to review child support which I haven't received in three months. I anticipate some ugly coming my way over this. But I do understand why I haven't received it as D16 told me she got a text today from XH and he has left town to go on a dream vacation with his new wife overseas - you know...the dream vacation that he would never go on with me because he couldn't miss work. I'm sure he needed the money for his trip.
