I have the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach again.
I may be one of the success stories here, but now I am back. I of course, stopped dbing as I said I would after a period of time. And now, without even seeing it coming despite my past experience, my wife and I are once again in trouble.
After a brief argument last night, in which I pushed too much, she walked out and spent the night with a friend (platonic- female friend). We just spoke on the phone and she is not coming home tonight either.
All I can say is...here we go again. A warning to all - if you succeed, never stop dbing!!
Last time we were in crisis, I used this site as my journal and it helped, so why not do it again?
She took her turn in a new game of Scrabble I started on facebook today. That's not much, but it's something. The idea of sleeping alone (well...tossing and turning alone) again tonight, makes me so sad, I don't have words. But when she said "I'm not coming home tonight", I remembered not to argue or beg. I just said "maybe that's the right thing". I will remember not to pressure her. She hates that more than just about anything.
I'm not sure if our kids being 18 and 15 now makes this better or worse than last time when they were 4 years younger. Hmmmmm _________________________ M-41 W-40
D-19 S-16
T-22 M-17
Divorce Busted - Dec 05 Back Here - August 09 She Moved To Her Apartment - Dec 1 09 She's "not coming home" - July 21 10
And after a year of wussy behavior, we now find our hero transformed with new life and new ambitions......
Originally Posted By: BeTheMan
I'm about to go over 100 pages.... Is there a lifetime achievement award for that??
I did not comment at all on her FB status, and yes, it is a good thing.
At the risk of RobX getting angry....here's an update...
Last Thurs I texted WAW and asked if she wanted to have tea at her place after work. I know...I know...no persuing. But, trust me on this one, it wasn't that kind of thing at all and it was a tactical move.
Anyway...I went and we talked about some kids stuff, work etc. She initiated a cuddle of sorts, but I made sure to take things no further than how you would treat a friend having a bad day, which she was. She said several times that she misses me etc.
The most interesting things were what she texted when I left. I will quote directly from my phone:
"You just left. The pain I feel is physical. I miss you more than I can verbalize"
Seeing you is torture to me. I don't think you understand that"
"I love you. Completely. This is very difficult"
"That's ok. Used to being alone and in pain. Good to see you though".
The last one was in response to my only response which basically was "not sure what to say" kind of thing.
I have made no mention of the texts since then and have acted like nothing happened.
I am GAL more than ever and that one date with the 25 year old has opened my mind to dating more and all of a sudden there are women everywhere. As I said to WAW (yes on purpose) "I must be putting off single vibes now".
It seems that WAW is starting to feel that I am FINALLY moving on and since it's real now, she knows that too.
I am feeling the best I have in the last year and for the first time ever I am truly doubting if I actually want to save my marriage after all.
Robx - Coach - Puppy etc. It took me way to long to get here and all I can say once again, is thanks for not giving up on me, even when I deserved it!!!
....Fascinating to observe that you both want someone who doesn't want you back.
And yet you fail to get it through your head that the very thing that will give you your best chance to turn this around is to do what works. The FACT is that what the OM did WORKED..
He dumped HER.. She still pines for him deep inside her heart. Her ego is bruised because he DUMPED her...
Women HATE to be dumped... (which is why the facts show that YOU should dump her too. She obviously responds better to men who can take or leave her.
Fascinating that you can't see or understand why what you keep doing doesn't work. Fascinating.
Originally Posted By: BeTheMan
...I am GAL more than ever and that one date with the 25 year old has opened my mind to dating more and all of a sudden there are women everywhere. As I said to WAW (yes on purpose) "I must be putting off single vibes now".
It seems that WAW is starting to feel that I am FINALLY moving on and since it's real now, she knows that too.
I am feeling the best I have in the last year and for the first time ever I am truly doubting if I actually want to save my marriage after all.
The 100 pages in between page #1 and page #101 were just filler anyways ;-)
Robx - If it's possible to love another man (in a purely platonic way of course) that you have never met....well you know.
I'm going to an old friend's bday dinner tonight. Something only a few months ago I wouldn't even want to do.
It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and WAW is coming over Sunday to make a big turkey dinner for kids and us. I now feel like I really have the best of both worlds. I always wanted to remain friends with WAW and be able to do things with our kids and we still can. But..I now have all the freedom in the world to do anything and anyone (sorry!) else I want.
Know what I am having for dessert tonight and on Thanksgiving day?
Yep, cake... and there's plenty to go around. Glad to see you've FINALLY developed a sweet tooth and it's begun to leave a sour taste in your WAW's mouth.
Now.. time to stoke the flames. Look for reasons and openings to dump the kids on her i.e. You are now a busy and in-demand stud on the loose... it's time for her to step up to her parental duties so you can roam the fields in search of prey.
Even though I stopped posting to you I didn't stop reading... and it pained me to read what you were writing because you weren't getting it. Like Rob said, live is wonderful. She don't want you? Cool, because you've got OPTIONS. I think it's finally dawned on you.
Now, please, I'm BEGGING you, NO MORE ALL-EXPENSES PAID vacations for her. None. Place your money in something that will yield a return on your investment. It's still early days for you, but it seems you're finally doing something about living up to your moniker. Enjoy life... it's too short not to.
Good luck BTM.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Had a great night out last night and re-connected with some old friends. Just the kind of thing I never had time for before.
Gnosis - I can't dump the kids on her, since they are hardly kids at 19 and almost 17. But I can roam the fields. And my God, the fields are filled with hearty crops. As for the vacations thing, we are still going away with the kids at XMAS time, but we are splitting the costs right down the middle.
I know many of you would disagree with the family vacation thing, but it's what I want and again, it's the best of both worlds to me. More cake please.
WAW is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner (paid entirely for and prepared mostly by her) and I am more excited about the tiny possibility of seeing my date from a couple weeks ago again tomorrow. I suppose that's progress of sorts..
