Today I don't feel real inspired to write anything about the Court Appearance last week, but in summary it was ugly. My W turned out something I have never seen before. She is not only having an affair, she's a habitual liar, and she's acts without sanity. Give me flack, but any ability to act rational is completely gone from her and now I'm losing that ability as well.
My day is the same as every other day. Endless emails regarding the same issues over and over and over. It's like I live one day, wake up the next, and it completely starts over. I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm sad, and I'm starting to give up.
Look forward to reading additional resources from Cadet(?)
Any questions or more info on my Sitch, feel free to ask.
My W turned out something I have never seen before. She is not only having an affair, she's a habitual liar, and she's acts without sanity.
Are you sure we are not married to the same woman? Just kidding.
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Give me flack, but any ability to act rational is completely gone from her and now I'm losing that ability as well.
So if I understand this statement....YOU have no control over you emotions. None. You simply respond to what YOUR W does. Interesting...Is that how YOU want to live YOUR life. Always at the mercy of what someone else does to YOU.
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Endless emails regarding the same issues over and over and over.
Here is a suggestion....don't look at your f*cking email. Oh...and FTR, no one is putting a gun to YOUR head and making YOU look and/or respond...BUT then again based on the first quote maybe you just can't control YOURSELF.
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I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm sad, and I'm starting to give up.
Giving up on what? YOURSELF? Well that's for pus*ies. Tired..well take a nap. Angry...well that's okay...just remember it is HOW YOU choose to deal with the anger...BUT once again, if someone else can control YOUR emotions well then you'll end up doing what THEY want YOU to do, instead of YOU doing what YOU want to do.
Faith...."for better or for worse"....
what does that mean to YOU and don't give me some bullchit like "I want to stand"...NO what DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready. Although I am not on the board that much anymore.
I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read. This is my ultra new and improved list of links.
Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.
I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources. You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.
Remember that in the stages of MLC it does NOT go 1,2,3,4,5,6 but can get all mixed up and repeat itself and have more than one stage at once. Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!
Believe none of what he says and 50% of what he does.
Lets not worry about him. Lets work on you! Start your homework assignments. GAL. Detach. Use the time that your H has given you as a gift to start to work on yourself.
Re: the resources..read em a few times and then print them out. You will need to refer to them again. Trust me on this one.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
This is hard stuff. Really hard. And I know you feel like you were sucker-punched and brought to your knees. To say you are on a rollercoaster is an understatement. I know it. It's more like a rollercoaster during a hurricane and you're stuck upside down, right?
Here's the thing. You will keep hearing us tell you stuff like detach, focus on yourself, GAL and all. And that stuff is necessary in order for you to get through this.
But the first thing you have to do, in my opinion, is decide how you want to live your life. What does that look like to you?
Whatever path your wife is on, it is hers to walk. Let her.
You, on the other hand, need to walk yours.
So, a good way to start is to decide the things about yourself you want to change. For you.
Then, start to think about things that might make you happy.
Start there.
As hard as it is, please try to take care of yourself and try as hard as you can to minimize contact with your wife. Only engage when absolutely necessary. And do it in a way that is not confrontational or accusacatory. This is for you.
This is a way for you to start to be the person you were meant to be. To act as a person you can be proud of.
I can promise you that your wife is not hearing a thing you are saying right now. And to expect her to think and react rationally at this stage is like expecting to be able to nail jello to a wall. Aint gonna work.
So, go easy on yourself. Take it a step at a time. This is a real opportunity for you. I know you dont see that now, but it is.
