Like Coach said, if you're paying for him that is weak and unattractive.
Right now he has it all...
Married when he wants Single when he wants Parent when he wants No parent when he wants He has your house and his house He has your money and his money
This guy has it all...
But here is the best part and the reason your position is sooo strong... You can change it! All of it!
Good luck!
Last edited by Sad_but_happy; 09/27/1009:20 PM.
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Sounds to me like you're in a good place SH. Lots of people behind you in your struggle.
Have a peaceful nights sleep!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
It's time to cut the rope, start with the house stuff.
He is not allowed in the house for more than 5 minutes to pick up the kids if he has them for overnights. If he has visitation with the kids before bed structured in your mediation agreement, he can take them out of the house to his place.
What is the agreement setup like?
DO NOT let him in and out of the house. Do you have a L? Ask him if you can change the locks. You probably can after 8 months of this.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I own the house so I can change the locks. We aren't married so that makes things easier! I asked him for his key last night- baby steps. I do have a lawyer-
Our agreement gives him one overnight a week for 3 months... than 2 for 3 months until the final phase of 3 overnights at his place. It says he can "visit' the kids in my home until the final phase. It isn't specified what that means unfortunately.
Three months later- not much change. We have good patches and I feel like I am making progress but then a setback occurs. This is hard stuff.
The hardest part of dropping the rope for me is not having him around the kids.... they ask for him all the time and for all of us to do things all together.
The other impossible part of this for me is seeing much the kids dislike being split between us. I haven't done a great job being pleasant towards someone who is breaking up our family recently. It hurts me so much to see the kids suffering and I just can't seem to keep quiet about it.
One of our issues is he never felt appreciated. So a 180 for me in that department is tough because I don't feel very appreciative towards someone who is putting our kids through this. Make sense? It is so hard for me because of the children...
