no surprise about that Blue. i have HATED facebook for as long as i can remember. have always said that if i wanted to keep in contact with those people i went to grammar school (as it turns out in my sitch that was exactly who an OM turned out to be), high school or college (hey it's me again and another OM, what luck) then i eff'ing would have.
i could care less if u r watching tv or playing w/ farm animals or sitting on ur rear end or playing videogames or washing clothes. save it for someone physically connected to you.
I read in my local paper a few months ago that FB was THE NUMBER ONE software product used to commit infidelity...
It stands to reason though.. It's for social networking and that's how people meet other people and get friendly...
The problem is this stuff isn't policed and there are no warning labels.. It's also private... If your sposue isn't on facebook and you are then you are free to socialize with whomever you like...
I am not suprised Newcomers didn't get it...
I am noticing a great deal of people on this website struggle with the scientific method.
If anyone brings up a factor such as facebook in threatening the security of marriage you get a spew of argumentation about "bad morals" being the cause or a "problem marriage" etc...
Whereas the truth is a variety of factors make up a situation as well as the person's responses to those factors...
In short, facebook isn't causing anything, but it is a bad influence.... Particularly if your marriage is at a lower point...
These products should come with a label just like other dangerous products do.
And these companies that offer facebook should have anti-infidelity policies in place and police their website, but they don't.
Hotels that want a good rep will police their lobby for undesirable activity... facebook should be doing the same.. But I guess they are making money so they welcome as much undesirable activity as they can get their hands on...
Hate FB too, actually. I first learnt of my brother's separation from his wife on FB! I mean, in WHAT world does that happen? I also don't give a rats about all those people from my past..they are just that: from my past and unless we meet up again in RL and happen to hit it off as friends, then it's just not meant to be.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Alot of people in thier thirties and fourties are on facebook to troll around... I think it was Passenger on this forum who's husband went to his high school reunion and met OW there.
Facebook just gives you a perpetual high school reunion you can access 24 x 7. It's a magnet for trouble.
What bothers me more is the owners of facebook don't seem to have any social conscience to the trouble their software is inviting. They COULD police the forum, put up warnings, at least have a policy that says they don't support infidelity of any sort on their website and will cancel account owners that violate their policies.
To my understanding they have not done anything to discourage abuse of their "social networking" site and help direct it to healthy activity only... They put the tool up there and to hell with the consequences...
Always felt facebook n twitter n myspace were the stupidest thing imaginable. There is such a thing a's being too connected. Large number of articles n research out there on the negative effect psychologically of social networking on people. Too much is not a good thing. There are those conditioned to b connected or wired in most of the time which results in sensory overload, anxiety and depression.
I know I sound old fashioned but whatever happened to having a quiet moment for introspection or talking with someone right next to u or looking at the sunset or even reading a book? Not enough downtime. It'll only get worse. Relationships n marriage will change as result. Has to under influence of excessive social networking. Heard it here 1st.
There's been an effort to increase communication lines for hundreds of years...
It used to take days to connect with another person ... Now it takes less than a second to send a text message.
The problem is these lines of communication distract us from the people around us - our family, our neighbours.
You likely know more about people halfway across the world than the people who live next door to you.
This is not a good thing.
The effort to maximize communication lines has resulted in us neglecting communicating with family and others in our area... It hasn't improved communication at all.. Just changed it...
Good article. I installed monitoring software and it was the FB connections my wife had that alerted me to her EA's. I also found a good site on FB cheating....facebookcheating.com Lots of sad stories there and some good info.
FB doesn't cause infidelity, but it sure makes it a h*ll of a lot easier to engage in. And, it is an EA magnet, which many times leads to PA and so much heartache.
Me: 50 W: 43 Discovered EA's 4/28/10 Gave W no contact demand 5/3/10 FT: 5/25/10 through present Still on guard and not sure
Well, having knowledge that my H was trolling on facebook, chatting up old girlfriends months ago I am certainly not the biggest fan! Having said that, I do have a page so I can share pictures and such with my family and friends because I live so far from them. H suspended his after I made it clear I was not going to put up with that kind of behavior.
I think most people know deep down if they are vunerable to inappropriate use of Facebook. The question is, will they be disciplined enough to self-monitor. It all starts out innocently enough. A wayward spouse is not of a self-disciplined mindset - it's all about their feelings of the moment - so I just don't trust it. Anyone that starts seeing their spouse "drifting away" should start taking a look at that facebook page, imo.
