On thin ice with WAW

[HopelessInLove]

I posted on newcomers thread a while back.

I have read the DB, DR and N.U.T.s books.

My situation has been up and down since I walked out, or my wife wanting me out.

I have been using the DB coach. she has helped me to stay positive. I have goals set up and I always trying to look at them and DB.

Two days ago W and I sat down and discussed the kids and what I would be doing with them over the next couple of days and weekends. W was receptive and talked.

Last night we got into a discussion and it lead into our M. She has been talking a little more open lately. She has been unhappy for years and baically is blaming me for it. She said she did not know how to think of me differently and almost is unwilling to try. She has been feeling better with me out of the house, more relaxed. Though she did say that she was upset that I am acting totally different then I did before, more relaxed and happier. I did not tell her that is what I am working on.

We were talking about a picnic where I was going to take the kids and I asked if she would be interested in going. She stated she would like to be there to support me, but was worried about the dynamic of it and if I was going to introduce her as my W. I asked her what she felt was appropriate. She did agree to go with me.

I also asked her if we could just hang out so that we could be more comfortable around each other for the kids sake. She was going to let me know.

Before the conversations were through she did mention that she has been thinking of calling a L to see what the big D or legal Separation would entail. But she does not want to do that yet.

This got me really down, and I have been in Hell all day.

HopelessInLove

[vukovi]

Good luck to ou brother, I am in a similar boat, minus some of the reading, but I dont have kids, so my wife has total control of this situation, I have to just accept that and hope she will decide our marriage is worth something to her. I am in limbo right now, and it sucks...sounds like you are too. God Bless. V

[StillLearning]

Same here, my W finally had told me she was unhappy for at least 2 years and I was blamed for everything. I actually did contribute a lot because I had anger issues (something you never really stop working on) and did a lot of things wrong without any intention to hurt my W. I was told the same thing, since I have been away she feels more relaxed at home but she doesn’t want to talk to me or see me so she can’t see any of my changes and of course doesn’t believe me when I tell her I’ve changed. We have pets but it doesn’t have the same sway as children so you do have some chances to be around her.

I would rather be in limbo right now. My W is dating somebody else and left divorce papers on the table for me when I stopped at the house to visit the pets. Keep up the positive changes and don’t forget the little things like her noticing those changes and agreeing to go to the picnic.