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#2075960 09/14/10 03:01 PM
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asher Offline OP
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Since about a month ago, H has wanted to give our M a 'chance.'
We are living a day's drive apart, in different countries. We've spent five days together in the last month. In about three weeks we'll be spending another five to seven days together.
We talk on the phone every day and skype.
I'm doing my best not to bring up R talk. I try very hard to let him initiate contact. Sometimes I can't help myself, but I'm getting better. I want this to be on his terms, so I'm really laying off the pressure.
Does anyone else have experience with piecing long distance? What sort of challenges are presented? My biggest fear is him meeting someone else while we are in such a rocky time. How do I quiet these fears?


Me: 29
H: 30
Married: 06/08
Bomb: 05/10
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 106
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asher Offline OP
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Our plan is to continue on this path until Christmas. At Christmas we will either part ways or I will move back down there with him.
His biggest fear is that things will go back to the way they were: me being depressed (I'm unable to work there due to visa issues), him being stressed and unable to cope with my moodiness while also attending and demanding graduate program. I am looking at different options as to what I can do there to keep busy.


Me: 29
H: 30
Married: 06/08
Bomb: 05/10
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 9,678
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Hi Asher smile

I did the piecing thing long distance and although it was difficult at times, it worked.

Find interesting things to talk about other then the relationship.

Ask him about his day but be careful how you word things.

My H and I used to watch a show together and talk on the phone to discuss it.

Hang in there.....


It's not much longer til Christmas


There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
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asher Offline OP
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Thanks for the input BND!
My biggest problem right now is that he is hot one day, then cool the next. For example, on Sunday I didn't call him and missed two of his calls (because I was out running errands) and then he started saying how he might come up for a visit (on top of the weeklong visit I have planned next month).
I got really excited by this prospect and have been asking about it ever since...I asked yesterday and today, and now he seems like he's cooled a bit on the idea.
Did you have any experience with this?
It's so difficult to remain a bit cool..when all I want to do is get reassurance from him and just come out and say that I want to move back down there with him! I will have a good couple of weeks, but then backslide into asking him to move things forward more quickly. Did this happen to you? I am so stuck as to what to do! One day I feel this resentment...like I'm doing all the work...I guess the only way to fix that is to take a step back and see if he's willing to do some of the work, right?


Me: 29
H: 30
Married: 06/08
Bomb: 05/10
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 106
A
asher Offline OP
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 106
Also, what about the physical aspect?
We've always had a great sex life, and the last time we went down there it was pretty fantastic. We're using skype for some fun as well :-)
I'm hitting a wall in that I need more emotional involvement...will that come?


Me: 29
H: 30
Married: 06/08
Bomb: 05/10

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