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soleil #2079705 09/21/10 07:18 PM
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I absolutely want to get married again. Just not for a long time...

I have gotten to know myself better than I have in years through this process. I can see looking back how I compromised myself, my values, my plans in order to keep my husband after his first affair 8 years ago. And, look where that got me? wink

So now that I am reconnecting with myself, I want to share this me, this real me, with my future mate. And I won't settle in a number of areas. Not saying I am looking for perfection, but I know a red flag when I see one, now that the blinders are off.

So at this point, it's verrry casual, sporadic dating for me. Eventually, one of those guys, either someone I have already met or someone I will meet, will turn into something more. I'll know it when I see it.

I love having a "partner in crime", someone to have the fun with...and what I miss from being married is having those common stories and inside jokes. Someday, I will have those again with someone new. So, yeah, I still believe in marriage. I just need to make sure that the next guy I marry, believes in it as much as I do...


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
soleil #2079711 09/21/10 07:24 PM
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Wow, KerryK, a Willie Pep reference. I'm a big boxing fan.

When we split up, my daughters asked me if I'd get married again. I said "yes, I like being married."

The longer I'm alone, the more I think about the complications of getting married again while the girls are still young.

If that person had kids, that'd be an awful lot of juggling. And then there's the trouble of who wins out when your girls want to do one thing and your new spouse wants to do another.

So hard, so hard.

And then the finances. It's going to take me five years to dig myself out of this mess. It's going to be very hard to trust someone again with my future.

But I do hope to get married again. I'm just going to be very, very, very sure this time and not let me ego or hormones rule the day.


Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11
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Maybe with a prenup - I know now that everyone is capable of anything. Innocence lost, along with the naivete. I am (hopefully) a recovered codependent.

Reincarnated #2079797 09/21/10 09:04 PM
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I'm afraid marriage just doesn't like me. Tried twice and got burned badly both times. Perhaps after a few years I'll just check myself into one of those "Retirement Homes" where the female/male ratio is 8 to 1. whistle

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Quote:
I'm afraid marriage just doesn't like me. Tried twice and got burned badly both times.


What did both marriages have in common smirk

Every relationship I ever had ended eventually, and it wasn't because they were pure bliss. I figured out what they had in common smile


M-47,W-40,No kids
D-filed 5/27/2010
Piecing - 10/21/2010
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Great idea!!

TH,

My first wife was 45 when she divorced me for fabricated reasons on the divorce papers.
My present wife is 46, am I missing something here?


My sitch:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2074259#Post2074259
M:64
W:45
Married: 08/07/2000
No children
Bomb drop:05/04/2010
Moved out:05/04/2010
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Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain
Perhaps after a few years I'll just check myself into one of those "Retirement Homes" where the female/male ratio is 8 to 1. whistle

I like the way you think! I wonder if I will need viagra when the time comes for me to live in one of those places.

smith18 #2079834 09/21/10 09:45 PM
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No worries Kerry, I hear they give it to you straight through the IV - nothing better than straight into the ole bloodstream!

smith18 #2079835 09/21/10 09:47 PM
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Quote:
I wonder if I will need viagra when the time comes for me to live in one of those places.


Stay out of them! The average lifespan for folks in a retirement home is just over one year.

Which reminds me, they are building a new one out by my parents' house... right next to a funeral parlor and cemetary. I guess they need to put a sidewalk joining them to save on ambulance costs.


M-47,W-40,No kids
D-filed 5/27/2010
Piecing - 10/21/2010
-=Soon to be banned=-
TimeHeals #2079839 09/21/10 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted By: TimeHeals
Quote:
I wonder if I will need viagra when the time comes for me to live in one of those places.


Stay out of them! The average lifespan for folks in a retirement home is just over one year.



Yeah - but what one helluva year it will be! smirk

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