It's normal to feel "inadequate" when you discover your spouse has/is having an EA or PA, regardless of gender, Jammed but try not to focus on that, though I know it's very hard.
I am glad you are seein gan IC. That is very good. How often will you be seeing IC?
It DOES get easier but I will tell you that your emotions are going to be WHACKY for some time.
My next appt is next week. And will probably be weekly. So far I like the IC.
So many things I know in my head, but it is hard to get my heart to understand. I KNOW I have to let her go, but my heart tightens up every time I think about it. I KNOW I need to keep from buying presents and telling her how much I love her, but I know OW is doing this and not being able to myself just hurts.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
First, It has been a long time since my last update.
Basically I spent 3 months trying to save my marriage to ind that while I did everything I could, it wasn't enough.
My soon to be Ex wife has left (weekend before Thanksgiving) and is now living with the woman she has been cheating on me with. It hurts. Even knowing that this was the likely outcome, it still hit me hard. I do have to say it feels better to not be in the limbo land that I have been in for the last 3 months.
The kids are with me in the house. So far we are being amicable about stuff. I hate what she has done to me and to my family, but the most important thing to me now is my kids especially my 6 year old daughter. I am letting STBXW come over just about every day to spend some time with her even tho it is hard for me emotionally.
I found out that I have been suffering from depression for some time now. So at a point in my life when I NEEDED her support the most, is when she decided to turn her back on me and the family. So much for better or worse.... I am taking meds for the depression that are helping and still going to therapy which also helps. So far the most important thing I have learned is that this IS NOT MY FAULT! Yes I was depressed, but I did not know it at the time. If I didn't know it, how could I have done anything to fix it?
Trying to figure out the best way to handle things from here to minimize the damage to the little one.
I am much better than I was. I still cry, but not as much. I have learned that I have a great many people who care about me, which has helped tremendously.
