"I am going above and beyond by agreeing to do this. Most selfless thing I can do which she always said I was not. This is the biggest exception I can make. BUT I am thinking about putting a time limit on it and saying - I'll do this for two months and then I will find my own place."
this isn't manly or leading.
"She admitted she was being selfish by asking this."
she won't respect a man who would do that. she's still mothering you by telling you what to do.
your Dr is right. get a prescription
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Don't know about the A. I'd say I don't care but that's just at the present moment. My gut tells me that it's not happening anymore. I will listen and get information from her and not talk much tonight. We'll see what she says.... I am walking the fine line here I realize but I am not going to pursue. I am so worn out that I don't care that much anymore. I am going to assume that I am subletting and moving out in two months and that's that. If she wants to work on us - then we'll see. Can't wait around forever....
Saw her. She says she is confused and was being rash before when asking for a separation. Not sure what she wants or feels. I told her that I had given up on trying to do anything - there was nothing more I could do or say. She said she wanted to start out by trying to be friends. I said I didn't want that, friends don't behave like she did. Left her at our place. She gave me a long hug and a short kiss and I left. I'd say I don't really care anymore but I do, just tired and exhausted whenever I see her. I need time away now.
She said she wanted to start out by trying to be friends
This is the first step to recovery
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I left. I'd say I don't really care anymore but I do, just tired and exhausted whenever I see her
Stop telling her how you feel. If you already told her then she knows.
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I need time away now
Yes, you both need it.
I heard these words from my W a year ago, "There is nothing you could say or do to change my mind"
388 days later, things have changed and she wants to talk about US. Hang in there.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Appreciate it gr8 day... It's hard to be positive as I feel that going on with our lives right now without each other is closing the door and ultimately a self fulfilling prophecy. it's beyond my control. i want her to remember the good but can't make her anymore. trying to give up the desire to have control. not easy.
It's hard to be positive as I feel that going on with our lives right now without each other is closing the door and ultimately a self fulfilling prophecy
Read coach's tag line and live it.
Once you get to the point where you know you'll be fine no matter what outcome, you will feel so much better. I think once I got to that point I truely stoped chasing and focused on myself. For me it took seven months, yikes. Get there and get there fast.
Don't worry about what you can not control. I know it's hard.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 09/22/1005:22 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Thanks again. Confronting the most brutal facts about my current reality... That's one to meditate on for awhile. I'm slowly getting to the point where I know I'll be fine. I get there or at least think I do and then I regress. Moving as fast as I can. Got any high speed petrol to get me there quicker?
She exploded that the timing of my letter was the ultimate in selfishness and asked me not to contact her until she reached out to me. Sounds to me as though she wanted this so badly and waited. Since it never came she decided she wanted out. When it did come in response to her leaving she felt that it was too cruel a trick of fate. She probably felt confused and so asked for you not to contact her until she was ready. I have many women friends who have done similar things.
I will listen and get information from her and not talk much tonight. We'll see what she says
Great advice from yourself to yourself.
I know it's easier to DB if your are still living with your partner than away from her/him.
She seems to react positively when you let her talk. Listen and respond by mirroring so she gets that you understand. When you don't understand, ask her to explain. She was probably getting this kind of "understanding" response from her online guy.
Walk in there confident and happy happy. Smile at her. If she really wants to move in with you, pat yourself on the back for getting her home. Agree but tell her what you need- specifics. Then you will get her respect. She sounds a little lost. Figure out fantastic things to do together, what ever you both liked to do before maybe.
I have almost been a WAW in my 30s. This would have done it for me.
