My H and I have been together almost 6yrs, only married 3 months. Over the past year, I was overwhelmed with several things going on in my life including planning our wedding and I took it all out on him. I would nag and gripe at him over the smallest insignificant things. Sometimes he would let it go, sometimes we would fight. A few weeks before the wedding, he told me he didn't want to get married if this was the way things would be. I said I was just stressed with the planning and it would change. Things didnt get better. A few weeks ago we had a huge fight and he told me he wanted a D. He didn't want to be with me anymore. I felt a personal change wash over me. I realized how awful I had been (especially to him). I couldn't believe how I had acted for so long. I apologized, took responsibility for how I acted, & told him I could understand him wanting a D after how I had been. I told him I would never be that way again. After my empty previous promises, he didn't believe me but was going to try. Less than a week later, he told me he couldn't get past what had happened. I had crossed a line for him and he was done. He didn't see us as together but as friends. He has been sleeping on the couch the past two weeks. When he comes home from work he stays on the computer until he goes to bed. He isn't making me move out or even encouraging it, but when I asked he said he doesn't care either way. He hasn't talked to a lawyer that I know of, but said if he could get an annulment or D online it would have already been done. Some days he is fine with me being around, others my very presence pisses him off. We have been together so long through so much and shared so many experiences. I want us to work through this but his mind is made up. Its so hard seeing him everyday knowing how he feels. I still have hope for us even though he tells me not to. I told him I would be making as many happy memories as possible until whatever he chose was official in writing. We use to talk about everything. I made him my best friend. Now, I don't even know how to act with him. I don't know if it would be better to stay and enjoy his presence while it lasts hoping to prove that I have changed or leave and give him space to sort things out in hopes he will miss me. He doesn't want to sleep together because its too intimate like we are a couple but he wanted to have sex this morning. I usually call him randomly to tell him whatever and have somewhat stopped unless I can pinpoint a specific reason to call. After all our history, why does he not want to try anymore? Or even worse, why not give it a little time? But then I circle back to the fact he doesn't want me to move out necessarily nor has he consulted anyone or told anyone. Its driving me crazy waiting to see what happens.
Hey there, Your first step is to not call him. It's difficult, but don't do it. Next, act as if. Tell him you agree that you can't go on with the way things are either. Then GAL ...show him you're still the woman he fell in love with. Reconnect with friends, get out of the house, he will become interested again. Don't bring up the R. Let him come to you. I've done some of these things (have fallen back several times). Learning a new way of being takes time. These things are counter intuitive, but they work.
