But she's just weary of any relationship talks. Says they make her feel like she's responsible for my feelings, and that all the pressure is on her. In her words, she's "defective."
What do you mean by 'relationship talks' though? Do you mean that if you just tell her how much you love her, that makes her feel pressured? Or do you mean a 'big' talk where both of you are communicating?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
She was in a great mood, bubbly. I asked about work, she chattered for about 5 min, then we talked about birthday plans for D5, about vacation time for the holidays, just a "normal conversation."
But she's just weary of any relationship talks. Says they make her feel like she's responsible for my feelings, and that all the pressure is on her. In her words, she's "defective."
What do you mean by 'relationship talks' though? Do you mean that if you just tell her how much you love her, that makes her feel pressured? Or do you mean a 'big' talk where both of you are communicating?
I mean a big talk about us, where we both are talking. At the end of our phone call a few minutes ago, I told her that I'm trying hard not to shutdown and withdraw, and she said she understood it was hard.
Then I told her I loved her, and she replied "I know," then started crying. I haven't told her that for over two months. I don't know why she started to cry; because she feels pressured, because she's happy I said it? Who knows.
I told her that I'm trying hard not to shutdown and withdraw, and she said she understood it was hard.
Then I told her I loved her, and she replied "I know," then started crying. I haven't told her that for over two months. I don't know why she started to cry; because she feels pressured, because she's happy I said it? Who knows.
Good for you for telling her that. I'd suspect she was happy, but I'm curious... why didn't you just ask her why she was crying!!???
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
I told her that I'm trying hard not to shutdown and withdraw, and she said she understood it was hard.
Then I told her I loved her, and she replied "I know," then started crying. I haven't told her that for over two months. I don't know why she started to cry; because she feels pressured, because she's happy I said it? Who knows.
Good for you for telling her that. I'd suspect she was happy, but I'm curious... why didn't you just ask her why she was crying!!???
She was at work, and couldn't talk much. She said she had to go.
In my experience, EA's are often more destructive that a one night PA.
That's what I've read. I think it depends on your perspective; an EA might be harder for the spouse involved to cope with, but a PA seems harder for the LBS to accept.
