I agree with Alan here. Go to legal aid or whatever you need to do and get an order for child support, and get your own place someplace else. That should be your first set of goals here.
Is the property owned by a property management corporation? If it's a company that owns lots of properties, expose her to her employer (just the facts) when you are leaving.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/31/1003:22 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
If you still have the pictures of the OW, check to see if the pictures have a "taken on" date. If you hold your mouse over a picture in the folder for a few seconds without opening it, a box should appear that has information about the picture, including "Date Picture Taken".
Most digital cameras these days automatically save that information to make cataloging easier.
I know it's not much, but you may be able to find out if the pictures were taken recently.
Sorry, IHH, I didn't mean to "comment and run" with my last post but I was headed out the door and have been most of today.
My particular thoughts were that from a legal standpoint it might be good information for you to know in any sort of Separation Agreement or divorce proceedings as to if he is going to be legally liable for this child by OW.
I agree with Allen that with H's other behavior, the pregnancy issue doesn't change your actions - as to getting out of the current living situation. H has done enough to warrant that but the pregnancy thing just adds fuel to the fire.
However, I would think it would be definitely good to know if he is fathering another child, personally, for several reasons. The main one would be to protect your/your son's interests. The 2nd would be knowing what you're up against.
Others have already suggested ways in which you can try to get proof. Do H and OW go anywhere in the car together or does he talk to her on his cell? I know it was suggested to me that I get a voice-activated recorder and put in the car to see if I could catch H in a conversation. You could possibly find out that way.
I do agree with Allen that whether or not OW is pregnant shouldn't affect what you do in terms of the M or living arrangements.
I tried to instal eblaster last night when i thought for sure he wouldn't come home. He did. He caught me' on his computer but doesn't know what i was doing. Now he's going to be taking his computer with him everywhere. He does not talk to her on the phone so voice recording is out. He has already started looking for an apartment.
I had a moment of weakness and asked him about child support. It blew up into a big fight (on his part) because earlier in the night he asked me what was wrong then got mad when I wouldn't talk to him about it. He said I'm being spiteful by being 'secretive'. I was calm and unemotional as he yelled and called me unstable and but i said 'i will only talk to you if we can discuss this rationall and logically'.
He said he was but then said what I was asking for was only because I was hurt and spiteful. I'm pretty sure he has talked to a lawyer but if not he's using that to intimidate me more into thinking I won't get what im asking for. I will obviously be callig my lawyer again today. He's threatening to go for joint custody to avoid paying CS so that I don't 'blow it on stupid stuff'.
I don't know. I'm trying to do this right but I did want to try to figure out my finances before I left. I know I shouldn't have asked but I didn't expect that reaction just because I wouldn't talk to him about my feelings. He took that as me trying to be mean but it's me trying to protect myself. All of it is.
Last edited by Ihavehope; 09/01/1011:11 AM.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
IHH... Your H is an ADDICT right now, he's going to be angry, aggressive, abusive, threatening, deceitful, destructive, wasteful, and generally USELESS in RESOLVING ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVELY...
You have to go AROUND him to get wher eyou want to go... That's why I suggested you just move out... I could pretty much call his reaction to the syllable... People having affair's do CRAZY sh!t... There's a live thread on this forum devoted to showing people how crazy people engaged in infidelity get.. you should read some of those stories so you are prepared.
I am sorry he's being so difficult, but this is pretty much par for the course I'm afraid.
Do NOT
a. Talk to him about difficult topics b. Warn him about what YOU are doing (I repeat, do NOT DO THIS anymore) c. Accept living there while OW controls the building d. Allow him to yell, threaten, or make you uncomfortable - walk away when he does that
You don't try to negotiate with an addict, particularly the males, they can be VERY uncooperative and even NASTY.
You get OUT of there and you get a LAWYER to get all of this for you... do NOT try to discuss money, children, divorce, marriage, or infidelity with an addict while you are in the HOME ALONE...
Everyone tries this and the result is never pretty.
He's addicted right now and he's abusive... just get OUT of there... dont' wait for him to leave... YOU leave and get a lawyer to protect you for now.
I am not giving up on your marriage, but I will say it again
You CANNOT beat this affair LIVING there... that situation is NOT conducive to success at ALL.. don't even TRY to negotiate.. just stay quiet and get OUT of there.
He knows I moving because he basically said he is and won't pay for this place so he knows I have to go. He has offered to use his address so the kids can finish the school year. I figure I will use it until I get settled and can start the transfer process. I will probably be going end of September. I am gig to stop talking about this all with him now that I had an idea of what I have to work with financially. I'm waiting on a call back from my lawyer to talk specifics.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
Interesting turn: it is ows. It is not his. Her boyfriend is there when he stays over. He sleeps on the couch. As far as her guy says there is nothing going on between H and her. WTF. Can I even believe this? I just don't know what to think anymore.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
