i'm at a loss for words, i'm angry and scared for my kids. To those who know my story you know that x married a crazy looney (not the ow-at the time) and after 6mths of her taking advantage of him he kicked her out... a full year has passed of their "M" and she's served him papers... she wants him to liquidate all assets, give her half, have her L paid for and spousal support in the future.
What does this have to do with me? he just called me, and told to better find a job soon, because if she gets what she's asking for he's going to get rid of her and them himself... I makes me SO damn angry and scared for everyone involved, i'm not talking about how it would affect me financially, but the fact that he is willing to let his anger over her destroy his life and my kids lives too... it's too long of a story, but he's already been paying for the huge debts she racked up and for a year was half starving trying to clean up the mess she made. He refuses to work on more day to pay her, that if the justice system is going to do this he wants nothing else in this life,that there will be nothing left of him for the kids to have a father so he might as well not let her get away with it. He said the papers served to him have all this codes of our state that back her up.
He is BROKE as it is, his townhome wouldnt' sell for a penny more than he paid for it, his car is old and messed up and he just came out of bankrupcy where they forgave thousands of dollars in debt, there NOTHING to fight about! other than perhaps his beat up car and 6mths of 'transitional' spousal support since they were married last August and separated this February, she has her own kids, no kids with him... this is just madness.
I know the laws are different everywhere, but can she possibly get away with this? I just can't believe it has come to this... he is loosing it when all in all the most she can ever get from him would be 6-7k ... it hurts me so much to think that if the worst were to happen my kids are going to be scarred for life because of his anger at her... any thoughts welcomed...
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I think maybe you should have a mental health professional take charge here. If I were you, I'd share the information with a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist right now.
I was acquainted with a guy I ran into a bar once when I was young. He said he was going to kill himself soon. I called his XW, friends, maybe family. None of them did anything. He killed himself a few days later. I should have called 911 or the local mental hospital.
They have only been married a year and a half and she will get half of his stuff and alimony??? That doesn't sound right. I was married for 19 years and will only get alimony for a total of 6 years. Don't see how 1.5 years would equal much if anything.
maybe due to his anger over the situation, he has misread something? Could you just call an attorney, give a rundown of the situation and see if it sound right to the L? Just an idea.
Hang in there.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I can understand your worries, but there is not much you can or should do with legal problems between your XH and his looney STBXW. If he is broke, I dont see how they can get him to pay for anything.
If he has told you that he would terminate his STBXW and then himself, it is possible that he has used the same line towards her and could be setting himself up for some jail time. Do you think he is bluffing out of frustration?
I agree with Kerry, stay out trying to manage his divorce-related legal affairs.
But, don't try to figure out yourself if he is bluffing. Not your job in so many ways.
He has threatened his own life and the life of another person. Period. He needs help, he needs to be evaluated. Notify someone who is a professional, who is objective, and who can act -- the cops or someone in mental health.
I was married for 19 years and will only get alimony for a total of 6 years. Don't see how 1.5 years would equal much if anything. ------------------------------------------------------- actually, 1yr, and 6mths out of that she moved back to her home state to 'study'...and, as he found out later, to screw with her ex. Thanks for the feedback!
Kerry, he has depression and adhd, he's made huge stupid desicions before, he's never talked like this...it is pure hatred talking, he could carried it out, she has done everything possible to mess him up, from trying to make him loose his job to report him to CS as a neglectful parent to getting thousands of dollars on venners for her teeth on his dental insurance.
OT, he does see a C, my exMIL hopes to talk to his C so she can inform him of this... he's said 'if' she gets $, it is nothing he's planning to do right now...mil just old me the trial is in November and that his L told him not to worry too much...hope he calms down til then.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
FWIW, just because she used his insurance doesn't make him liable for her bills.
AFAIK, the adult patient is responsible party for the bills, whether or not insurance is used, no matter whose insurance is used. Has anyone actually told XH that he is the responsible party?
I agree with OT that your ex might be a threat to himself. He is obviously overreacting, but you need to keep yourself from overreacting as well. Stay calm.
I cannot imagine that his second W is going to be awarded enough spousal support to amount to anything since they've been together so short of a time. Is he paying you much in support? Because I can bet she is not entitled to anything more than what you get now, if at all.
He needs to talk to a L before he makes any predictions of how bad it might be. Any hardship visited on your ex is likely to be translated into a hardship to you, his first wife, and family, since he owes you first -- so I can't see a judge rewarding her at your expense, but then again, our legal system is frakked up. A L should be able to set his mind somewhat at ease.
thanks a bunch everyone)))) this man is going to still affect my life until I die I swear...grrr...
NC, yes, we are calmed a whole lot, including him... he needs so much self control (doh') he just acts by the seat of his pants and makes dumb choices at the most inopportune times... I told him what you told me, honestly, if he takes toll of his 'assests' to be 'liquidated'... the is NOTHING worthwhile! I don't know what can she possibly get...
Sigh... my head has sprouted a few new gray hairs, bleah..
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Cat, I don't know your sitch but I just wanted so tell you that I'm touched by your concern for him. Even after what he did to you, you find a way to help him! No matter how much I dislike stbxw right now I know in my heart that if she was in a real jam I'd help her out. It has nothing to do with having feelings for them or even being friends with them etc. But instead it has to do with being the bigger person and not turning your back on those you once cared about- especially when it's your kids' parent.
You're one of the good ones!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
