I think my big wake up call came today. I am trying to make the absolute best decision for the kids (and so is he) about how long to play to charade. He wants to stay in the house till the kids are 18, I'm not sure if I can and I expressed that to him. I told him I am going to try and he said "whatever works for you."
I asked him how is he able to seem happy when this is such a difficult time. His response? I just don't think about it. WOW! It was then I decided I had to really let him go and do what he needs to. How can you not think about this? And it's that stone cold thought process that has weaved throughout our marriage that has been the 1/2 of the contributing factor to our demise. I always felt nuts and crazy. now I'm feeling better about him leaving in 3 years and that will allow me to get a better job (hopefully!), or education. Wish me peace and strength for my kids that I am doing the right thing now and in the future.
Me 40 H 42 S 16 D 15 Together for 23 years Married 18 Blow up 8/21/10 DBomb-but hiding for the kids sake? 8/25/10
So I fianlly have accepted that it is over and I'm really trying to let him go. How do I balance my anger and sadness while living together for..I don't know how long?
Being strong for the kids while he is "working" and looking for that "Rockstar" relationship. Utter craziness. Any help?
Me 40 H 42 S 16 D 15 Together for 23 years Married 18 Blow up 8/21/10 DBomb-but hiding for the kids sake? 8/25/10
How do I balance my anger and sadness while living together for..I don't know how long?
Focus on your goals. Bettering yourself for the workforce is a good idea. You need to start envisioning your life without H in it.
Don't feel sorry for the way you think you should have been towards your H. You are not the only one to blame.
Feel free to contact me on the alt.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Well I fianlly asked him to move out. The problem is that I know how importnat he is in the kids lives so we have agreed to move in and out of the house instead of the kids. 2 days on, then 2 days away. I HATE this because I've been the one who has been home with them all of their years, but I realize his importance. I can no longer watch him be happy when the kids are around then when they arent in the room with us, he is texting like crazy.
I have so much anger. I just dont know if I will ever recover from this. It all seems like a delicate game that has to be played and I dont know if I have the strength.
The kids have also moved into anger and while we used to be close, they are slowly moving away by not spending time at home. I hate him for this, but I know I have to somehow pull it together. If I continue to be angry and sad, they will drift to him because he is happy.
CRUSHED!!!! Any advice on how to walk that fine line? He wants to be friends..is it possible with this anger and my emtional attachment to him? Anyone ever deal with this situation?
Me 40 H 42 S 16 D 15 Together for 23 years Married 18 Blow up 8/21/10 DBomb-but hiding for the kids sake? 8/25/10
CRUSHED!!!! Any advice on how to walk that fine line? He wants to be friends..is it possible with this anger and my emtional attachment to him? Anyone ever deal with this situation?
Get a life of your own. Not a life with him. Not a life with/for the kids. Get a life of your own. Start now. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I did a search for women's organizations in my area and found one that offered seminars on surviving divorce. The finances, rejoining the work force, etc. I'm not saying to plan for divorce-but getting information that will help you understand that you will survive this regardless of the outcome might help you to feel less desperate.
M 45 H 44 no kids-one great dog M 15 yr in Oct T 18 yr Bomb 6/10 "I can't be your husband any more"
