Looking for some vet's advise here on the 180 Dbg

[MarkIII]

Hey guys and gals, sorry I'm posting this as a topic. I tried pming a few of the vets like Robx and Sandi2 but it says pming is disabled. (mine is on).

Anyway
I'm trying to do a 180 but looking for advise how to really apply it, my wife is living with her father and my 2 young kids. She has a restraining order and my L did not fight it to much her reasoning was I was contacting her too much about marriage counseling and getting back together. (She is in a EA via telephone with a married policeman proclaiming he is divorcing adadaada). Anyway we went to a 4 way meeting the other day, she said she would drop the RO if I give her a car and several things from the house and she would also let me have my children overnights every other weekend (right now I have them every other weekend 10am-6pm each day). I have full custody of my 4 older kids from a previous 13 yr non LTR.

My thing is I am changing and doing things for myself and not posting anything on my facebook etc. I call at the required times to talk to my kids (she wont even get on the phone to discuss a schedule change or the kids). What is the best way to apply the DBing and her notice? Right now she seems to care less if I'm even breathing. Nor care about the kids. I want to enroll our son in preschool which is 35 dollars a week, her lawyer and mine said neither one of you can afford it with our bills and he should not go. WTF??? She then started saying well he doesn't need to go then it is not required. Wait I'm getting on a rant here ------
If you were in my shoes what would you do or your plan of action be?
Thanks for all the assistance, and I have been reading alot of the posts and old topics some are like my situation but have not seen any with the WAW filing a restraining order. (If each one is good the judge will close it in October). On that note her father always try to engage me when I go to get the kids, my L wont ask the judge for a public meeting spot cause her L says that daddy o should be there just in case..
On a stack of bibles I have never even once did anything nor said anything for her to even to have a restraining order. (it was something her OM/EA suggested and her L is hardcore and doing anything he can to keep us fighting).

(I dont know how to link my sitch)