2 weeks ago my son got married and H was not invited because of H living with OW. The day before the wedding h sends me a text message asking why no one in his family was invited to wedding to which I replied not my decision. (We have been married 30years and he left last Aug)After the text message we talked by phone and h tells me to went to Folrida with her and explained everything to his parents, why they are wearing rings on their wedding ring fingers, etc. OW is still married to 2nd h and has been separated over 3 years. So I guess he did all this to try and make ME feel guilty about him missing the wedding and of course it did make me feel horrible so I believe that was his intent. In the past few months he sends spodraic texts saying how happy is and that he is never coming back to which I either dont respond or just tell him I am sorry he feels that way. I guess I want to know what to make of this. He comes from a very disfunctional family and although I thought I meant something to MIL/FIL the fact that they allowed her to visit makes me very disappointed. Please help me make sense of all this.
We are not in the process of D and I guess they prefer to live together in their fantasy marriage until one or the other decides to file or moves out. I am standing because I truely believe he is in MLC and has no concept of what this is doing to our family. I am in counseling which helps tremedously but just can't understand his actions. I know believe nothing you see and half of what they say!
Did YOU SPECIFICALLY inform your in laws that you wanted to save your marriage?
Did YOU SPECIFICALLY ask your in laws to support the marriage rather than their son's affair?
I am just wondering if the in laws have all their facts straight.. You do realize your Husabnd is going to spin a tale to them like "we are getting a divorce, my wife is k with me moving on, we both agreed to divorce asap" etc?
You DO realise eh's going to tell his parents stuff like that right?
You need to get the facts stragith with your in laws and keep in CONSTANT CONTACT with them... you can't just sit and hope they will know how you want tehm to handle things... your H is giong to lie to them.. if you aren't there to counter it regularly then your in laws will assume he's teling the TRUTH... He's their son they are giong to trust his say so if they don't hear different from you
I was the one that exposed the affair to MIL/FIL. H told them he was moving out because we weren't getting along. He moved out in Aug, moved in with OW 1 Oct. Once I exposed to them they made things difficult and he actually came back late Oct for 4 days. But then he talked to his sisters whom collectively have 7 divorces between the three of them. They all told him that he should follow his heart and that his parents were blackmailing him. A day later he left and has not been back since. I have tried to stay in contact with MIL/FIL but the past few months they have not responded much. My husband has bladder cancer and had his bladder/prostrate removed in Jun and they have not talked to me at all because h and sisters have them convinced that sons are not talking to father because of me. I am fighting a losing battle and realize that no matter what I tell them they will believe h especially now that I know OW has been to their home.
I have told MIL/FIL that I am NOT giving up on the marriage, that I love their son and will not divorce him.
