Have a good trip, MM! Hope you do some thinking too, while he is doing his. This sort of thing doesn't usually end smoothly, so expect OW to hang on with a death grip. I wonder if they have moved the EA to a PA ... chances are likely if he saw her on his last trip to 'previous city' and 'slept' in the spare room. This will make things even more difficult. Remember, looks has nothing to do with it. She could be the ugliest woman, but if she has found a way to make him feel good in some way, then she has him. It's all infatuation at this point, an addiction.
These so-called other women do not care about the children involved. There was a lady here whose academic husband left her for a colleague, and they had several children, I think she had quadruplets or something like that too. They are divorced now, and last I heard she was happy in her singleness.
Just make sure you protect yourself and your children financially. All we oldsters advise this, and we do so for a reason ... too many times a LBS will keep hoping and not believing that their H/W would do anything to hurt their children, but they do. If they can have an A, that is hurting their children, but they do worse, like spending family money, getting into further/new debt (and you are debt free now, so make sure it stays that way). Not always, but a lot of the time. So it's up to you, to protect yourself and the children.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Good advice, Being Me. OW definitely doesn't think about the children. MM, I loved your retort to OW that you got the best part of your WH - your kids! I also hope he retrieves his head from his back passage! It's very hard kicking these waywards to the curb - we love them dearly, want to save them from making a big mistake, but we can only control ourselves, not them.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
We made it back to our hometown. My grandmom passed away in her sleep last night so I only texted H that info and wrote 'bye' so he got the hint not to keep responding. He has not contacted me about the kids and I am nt contacting him. Plan to see some apts here, get my hair cut, and attend grandmoms funeral services this week.
Becoming disillusioned with the person my H has become. Starting to separate who he IS from who he WAS when we married. I am losing hope my family will survive but starting to believe I will. Lots of emotion.
Sorry for typos On my phone.
Me 32 H 32 Ds 3.5 and 1.5 M 5 years, T 14 years EA/Bomb: 7/1/10 PA revealed: 9/14/10 Legally separated: 10/01/10
MM, I'm so sorry for your loss, take good care of yourself.
This has to be the suckiest rollercoaster ride every invented. You will survive, and you are right, there is a big difference between the H of the past and the H of now, gotta remember that.
Dagny
Me 48, H49, M24, S14, S11 DB #1 4/2002-8/2003 Bomb #2 August 2010 & he moved out Living with OW
Condolences to you and your family for the passing of your grandma. Sad time all 'round for you, but you will get through it, and stronger than ever. Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks for the condolences. Services are tomorrow. I haven't heard from H since Saturday morning. Did hear from MIL because she is freaking out he hasn't contacted her. I texted her OW's phone number and said he hasn't contacted me but is probably in contact with her, she can contact her if she is worried.
In the meantime, I did find apartments that will work for us here and I've identified 2 jobs I am going to apply for tomorrow. I'll keep up the job search. I'm just assuming I'm going to be starting a new life up here in a few months. If H wants to work on things, I'm willing to do that but will be shocked. It's easier to prepare myself for life on my own and be surprised than to be hopeful and let down.
And I got a new haircut today for myself
Me 32 H 32 Ds 3.5 and 1.5 M 5 years, T 14 years EA/Bomb: 7/1/10 PA revealed: 9/14/10 Legally separated: 10/01/10
I think you have the right attitude, MM ... no, or little, expectation, and leaving the ball in his court.
Yay, on the hair change. Did you cut it short, or just a different style, or what? I'm thinking of having my hair changed.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim