My H and I went to Retrouvaille 3 years ago. It was successful in keeping us together.
A few things I can say:
--Great retreat for people who are of mixed faiths, or who are on two different spiritual paths. I would say you need to at least believe in God to feel comfortable at Retrouvaille. Or, you should not have a problem with being around christians, even if you aren't a believer. It is not for anyone who is anti-christian or anti-God. They are not preachy or evangelistic, but they are christians, and a priest or pastor is part of the presenters. As in, "God has a plan for your marriage and cares about your family".
--No group sharing.
--Take some Tylenol PM; it is emotionally intense and hard to get to sleep. We would have done better if we slept better.
--They will not allow you to come if there is an active affair going on. You have to sign a statement saying there are no current affairs going on.
--Most of the people there are separated. You will hear things worse than your own situation from the presenters. You will see that you are not alone and not unusual in having such a painful marriage.
--This would be a waste of time if you or your spouse are really, really deceitful. The most helpful thing about this is the incredible clarity you gain into your spouse's feeling and thinking.
--This is a helpful place to go if this is where you're at: "This is our last attempt to stay together. Let's go so that we can at least say we tried this before filing for divorce."
Hope that helps
Last edited by the girl; 08/17/1011:20 PM.
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 11 yrs (7th year was HELL) 3 daughters Survived Affair, 6 month separation Rebuilt marriage Currently stuck
I appreciate reading everyone's opinions on this. I haven't brought anything like this up yet but I'm interested in it.
And TwoBoysDad one thing that stuck out to me in your first post in this thread about your son's birthday. I understand to you pushing it back wasn't a big deal, but to me, as a mom, my children's birthdays are sacred and all about them. If I had a party planned, nothing would keep me from following that plan for them. I'm not sure if your wife feels the same, but she may and it may not be just an excuse to push the Retrouvaille off further. Just my humble two cents.
Me 32 H 32 Ds 3.5 and 1.5 M 5 years, T 14 years EA/Bomb: 7/1/10 PA revealed: 9/14/10 Legally separated: 10/01/10