OK So I need to know EXACTLY what you know, and what DIRECT proof you have.
-Does she still live with you, and does she use a PC/laptop to conduct her affair?
-Has she admitted ANYTHING, or has she shut down and is being REALLY secretive.
Be SHORT and CONCISE, and then we can nail her to a wall. If you have some $$$ to spare, we can set you up with a CIA-grade intel operation that would be good enough to nail most mid-level drug kingpins or cartels.
I can even teach you how to DIRECT a conversation with your intel, and TRAP her with her OWN words.
BE WARNED: Your intel operation could get UGLY AS HELL. Look at my posts and see the nightmare I lived through. Puppy will tell you as well.
This is going to be like being an undercover DEA agent in Ciudad-Juarez, Mexico, where you are going to have to stand by and watch the slaughter, and put your own feelings aside for a bigger goal.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 08/01/1005:44 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
She still lives with me, mostly uses an iPad for Internet stuff. Nothing on it from what I've seen that would indicate any A electronically. She hasn't admitted anything, denied anyone else being involved at all.
I have access to her FB page, her email, everything. She has a pay as you go phone, but I can get into that when she's asleep.
She works with the suspected OM, who's her boss. She started talking him up about two years ago, like he was the best thing around. Started dressing nicer, wearing makeup, perfume etc which she never did before.
Then about two months ago she starts dieting and exercising like crazy. She normally works at 7 or 8am, but she would go to the YMCA at 5am to work out, shower, then go to work. I have the login logs from the Y, so I can see that she's at least logging in around 5am. Of course she could be leaving right away for a quickie.
She used to have a Sprint phone, and had never once called her boss on his cell. Then, she drops the Bomb on me after coming home from work on Father's Day. At 10:03pm that night, she makes a two minute call to his cell. He had worked that night with her, and he has about an hour commute, so it'd be safe for her to call him without worrying about the OMW wondering who the hell is calling at 10pm.
So I find it very unlikely that she just happened to call him out of the blue after dropping the bomb. Everything points to an affair with him, especially my gut.
I've contemplated a voice activated recorder in her car, a gps phone, or something like that.
Does she work in a Technology job, or is she savvy with computers?
She might be a tough nut crack here. I mean think about if I decided to have an affair. The FBI would have a hard time catching me in it.
From what you said there are 3 possibilities that come to my mind:
1) She is mad tech savvy, and it covering it so well.
2) She had a 1- or 2-time fling with the boss, and is horribly guilty. Guilt can COMPLETELY color emotions and make a WAS feel like they have no love for their partner.
3) She's actually not having an affair. She may "fit the pattern", but truly may not be. How many people are stopped at airports because they are identified by "pattern recognition and behavior"? Most of them just may be nervous about flying, or sick or whatever.
If #2 is the case, YOU NEED TO STUDY HOW TO READ BODY LANGUAGE. And read on how to tell if a person is lying.
PRACTICE doing this on friends and coworkers BEFORE YOU CONFRONT HER. Then when you are comfortable, sit her down, and ask her directly. Then DIRECT THE CONVERSATION based on her answers and choice of words. You then catch her in a BLATANT contradiction.
If 1) is the case, then you might want to "lose" the iPad charger. There is NO monitoring software for ipads. You basically then FORCE HER into using a PC where you have monitoring software installed.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
She used to have a Sprint phone, and had never once called her boss on his cell. Then, she drops the Bomb on me after coming home from work on Father's Day. At 10:03pm that night, she makes a two minute call to his cell. He had worked that night with her, and he has about an hour commute, so it'd be safe for her to call him without worrying about the OMW wondering who the hell is calling at 10pm.
PH,
That's it? That's all you got??
That's hardly conclusive. It could be business-related, or just an innocent phone call. Now, I admit, your wife is displaying a lot of classic warning signs, but you need MUCH more than that with which to confront her, or even to claim on her "my wife is cheating on me."
And now I'm even MORE confused, because Pinhead just posted today over in Newcomers, saying "Oh, and I'm absolutely certain my wife is not having an affair."
I know it's hard, but it doesn't need to be (insanity). You have to try to DETACH EMOTIONALLY, and just view it as a data point, to be accumulated with all of your other data to be acted upon how YOU best see fit.
