Long distance EA?

[dad1b1g]

I think my W is having a long distance EA. She has given me the ILYBNILWY speach, said I did not support her emotionally, and she wants out, it's over, no need to try.....

Checking her cell calls, there is a suspicious number that she is in contact with basically everyday on the way to and from work. It is an outside consultant that works for her company that lives in another state. The calls are not generally long, sometimes 10 min, most shorter. Can't tell what she does from work. Also, after a late business dinner last week she never did call me to say she was on her way home (normal) but she did call him 3 times, the last must have been while sitting in our driveway given the time.

Other signs - started going to gym, changed hair style, tanning, dressing more provocative

How can I confirm this or what should I do about it. She has a genuine need to talk to this person for business reasons but I don't think before and after work are necessary.

[dad1b1g]

more...

after out talk she stopped wearing her wedding rings and we now sleep in sep rooms.

She has since put the rings back on but home life is not improving. Checking her cell, it looks like the contact has slowed, only contact about everyother day lately for the last week or so.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Here is a link to Dad's sitch so far, so others can see the backstory:

Dad's Thread on Newcomers

Dad, it's obvious to me that your wife is having at LEAST an emotional affair with this man. Since you've already gotten a bunch of advice from me, let's see what others have to say about the best way to go on this.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

For the record, this is what I have advised:

1. Get proof.

2. Do either:

2a. Aggressive affair-busting (see Allen A's posts); or

2b. "Set her free" (Robx/Gucci approach)

Those are the only two things I've seen work. If #1 turns up nothing, then proceed to 2b.

Puppy

Looks like it's a little late for "#1 turning up nothing." Time for a full dose of Allen, I say.

[dad1b1g]

PDT, I was not ignoring your advice, I was actually wondering how to go about proving it.

Back to Newcomers to stay for a while,

thanks

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Dad,

I think it's GOOD to get multiple perspectives, and also good for you to get some specific advice here on the Infidelity forum. I was merely posting your link so that others just reading your sitch for the first time could have some context.

No need to run off!

Puppy

[doing my best]

Dad....

Get all passwords. Should be no secrets between spouses like that. Make sure you have access to any email accounts, Facebook, etc. Not to break trust but look in her private areas, purse, wallet, etc for any notes, passwords, etc. Make sure you put everything back the way you found it. Also if you have a home computer consider getting a key logger.

DMB