I just returned from a year long deployment in Iraq. While I was "home" on leave in Feb my wife of 10 years told me she didn't want to be married to me anymore. Suffice to say I returned to theatre devastated. It was the hardest struggle of my life to not return in a body bag, but I did it with counseling and meds. She also refused to talk about why she wanted out. She was "all worn out" and "had nothing to say".
The reason for "home" is that we left no residence. I went to war and she went to live with family in Canada(at my suggestion) because I thought she and the kids would be safer.
I acknowledge we were having problems but I never knew how miserable she apparently was. I got off the plane 5 days ago and she+kids were there(a surprise). She wasn't wearing her wedding ring and has been "dating". She and the kids have established themselves in the small town in Canada where she's from and don't want to return to the states. She wants me to move there so I can be close to the kids but says there's "no chance" of us reconciling. Did I miss something? I was married one moment and fighting to stay in the lives of my children the next. I feel like I returned from Mars to find my home planet gone. Welcome home?????
So sorry to hear your bad news. You have found a good place here and others will chime in soon. Keep updating so people know more info about your sitch(situation)
PS. thank you for your service overseas.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
First of all, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE to our country. What is it with all of these wayward women cheating on their husbands while they're FREAKING DEFENDING OUR COUNTRY???!!!
I'm sorry, that just frosts my ass.
You need to talk to an atty, ASAP -- a good family law attorney in the state where your wife and you last had legal residence. You may have a case for "abandonment" or even "kidnapping," and you also don't want to do anything that would jeopardize any of your rights. This sounds fishy to me:
Quote:
She wants me to move there so I can be close to the kids but says there's "no chance" of us reconciling
There could be legal ramifications if you do that, I dunno.
You'll also want to know if your former state of residence with her does, indeed, have jurisdiction over this matter, and if it's a "fault" or a "no-fault" state when it comes to divorce.
I'm really sorry you're having to go thru this, when you ought to be concentrating on your duties.
You'll also want to talk to a JAG because I believe there is a federal law that says a divorce action cannot be initiated against a soldier while deployed. QuickSilver was just posting something about this earlier this week -- you may want to look for his post.
First of all, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE to our country. What is it with all of these wayward women cheating on their husbands while they're FREAKING DEFENDING OUR COUNTRY???!!!
I'm sorry, that just frosts my ass.
You need to talk to an atty, ASAP -- a good family law attorney in the state where your wife and you last had legal residence. You may have a case for "abandonment" or even "kidnapping," and you also don't want to do anything that would jeopardize any of your rights. This sounds fishy to me:
Quote:
She wants me to move there so I can be close to the kids but says there's "no chance" of us reconciling
There could be legal ramifications if you do that, I dunno.
You'll also want to know if your former state of residence with her does, indeed, have jurisdiction over this matter, and if it's a "fault" or a "no-fault" state when it comes to divorce.
I'm really sorry you're having to go thru this, when you ought to be concentrating on your duties.
Puppy
Yup, there's something about a WAW cheating on a husband who is deployed overseas defending their country, very disrespectful, this thread will be very reminiscent of tbart's thread, pretty similar situation except in your sitch Ragman, your wife has admitted that she has started dating.
My question is this, is she allowed to get up and move out of country, never mind out of state, currently giving you no access to your children? Seems illegal to me.
First of all, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE to our country. What is it with all of these wayward women cheating on their husbands while they're FREAKING DEFENDING OUR COUNTRY???!!!
I'm sorry, that just frosts my ass.
You need to talk to an atty, ASAP -- a good family law attorney in the state where your wife and you last had legal residence. You may have a case for "abandonment" or even "kidnapping," and you also don't want to do anything that would jeopardize any of your rights. This sounds fishy to me:
Quote:
She wants me to move there so I can be close to the kids but says there's "no chance" of us reconciling
There could be legal ramifications if you do that, I dunno.
You'll also want to know if your former state of residence with her does, indeed, have jurisdiction over this matter, and if it's a "fault" or a "no-fault" state when it comes to divorce.
I'm really sorry you're having to go thru this, when you ought to be concentrating on your duties.
Puppy
Yup, there's something about a WAW cheating on a husband who is deployed overseas defending their country, very disrespectful, this thread will be very reminiscent of tbart's thread, pretty similar situation except in your sitch Ragman, your wife has admitted that she has started dating.
My question is this, is she allowed to get up and move out of country, never mind out of state, currently giving you no access to your children? Seems illegal to me.
robx,
A cheating wife while a man deployed gets my blood boiling. It makes fun of it all, and is truly quite disgusting in my opinion.
Sorry you are here ragman. I am still fairly new to this, but have gotten GREAT advice from these guys. Listen to them. They know what they are talking about.
I'll try to keep up with your situation and lend any advice I can give.
Good luck and I am eternally grateful for your service to our country! Glad to have you back!
Time for full disclosure.... I had a huge revelation last night while reading the infidelity section of DR. I now understand that my addiction to internet porn was central to my wife deciding it was over. That for her it was worse than an affair because she was competeing with a machine and losing. Not to mention the fact that I denied it when confronted. When she went home she received the love and support from family and friends that she should have gotten from our home. I have been "clean" since November but until last night I had no context of what it was doing to her. My wife is not perfect by any means but the lion's share of this disaster rests on me. I am humbled and even more ashamed than I was before. I am also grateful that she speaks to me at all. Big night, huh?
