Don't give up on us! I know that sometimes one thread seems to get all the attention while others don't get as much action! Hang in there....more will come!
Hang in there!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Hang in there. You are in shock and pain right now. Try not to think about this all the time. I know that is hard but you really need to try.
Forgiveness is not about saying that what you did to me is ok. It's about letting go of the pain and anger your feeling.
It's very new for you right now. Your husband seems to be doing the appropriate measures. (this is huge!!!! There are many on this forum that would like all the passwords to emails and a spouse that tells them about contact with OP).
I recommend Not just friends by Shirley Glass (excellent reading). You can google her name and get a question and answer interview with Shirley from 1998 which is very good. A bit dated but good.
Google Penny Tupy. Excellent information. I also like go ask Suzy's website.
Things to remember: This takes time.....a long time to heal. And YOU Don't have to decide today what you want to do with the future of your marriage.
Give yourself a year. Yes, I said that. Go to MC with husband, go to therapy yourself. Educate yourself about affairs, the how, why and where. Know what your husband should be doing if he wants to keep the marriage and what you should be doing.
Then you can decide.
I have been there... the how could you do this to me. Guess what? He did. That hurt so bad.
One day at a time. That is how all this works.
You are in the right place. This forum has contributors from all over the world, so the time zones contribute to a lack of activity.
On this forum, look at posts from Allen and Puppy. Great outline on what needs to be happening.
I know this is an older thread and you may not be reading it anymore, however, I just had my wife who separated from me sleep with another man. I can tell you that I couldn't stop crying for about a day and a half, another half day of off and on crying. She came to me and said that she was sorry she hurt me, but that was how it is. I made the effort to tell her that I forgave her for her actions, she's my wife (even though she doesn't think so) and sex is just physical. There are so many more levels that she makes me feel good on that I can get past the hurt she caused me on that one level. It sucks, it DOES hurt, but if you make a concentrated effort to tell yourself that there are so many other ways that your husband makes you feel good, then you might find yourself not thinking about it as much and the hurt might ebb. I know that it has for me.
wow, mommacat. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
I'm kind of in the same boat so interested in seeing how things progress for you. Was (guess I still am) married to a cop and then late last summer he started growing distant and one day I came home and he had moved out. found an email between him and his therapist but he said it was just flirting. in a nutshell, here's my story: http://bit.ly/cK7MH3
It's great that your husband is being open though.. Wish mine had. Hang in there!! We're all here for you..
