feelings as OW seems to be on way out

[braveheart]

Forward, you are right, your XH got what he wanted. Its not your job any longer to help him now that he is down. You only need to conduct yourself in a business-like manner when it comes to your D. Frankly, he needs to sit over there by himself and think about his choices and decisions.

[forward]

we have seen C to try to figure out how to handle situation w/D.

X says he is very messed up psychologically w/the physical problems. I can tell; I also know that he is on intense prescription drugs. I have little help from him but that it's the best he can do now. Basically all responsibility has fallen to me at this point.

I find myself feeling bad--for some reason my confidence is hurting right now--confidence about my new R and in myself in general. Just the stress of things in general has been intense right now.

[peacetoday]

Forward
Sometimes it gets more intense than other times
especially watching xh get worse..but we have to let them go fall if they must- only they can pick themselves up--I know you already know that
What helps me the most is affirmations..
you have been doing everything for a long time
you can do it
I tell myself It is OK
I can do it
Ive been doing it
sometimes we need to go inward for a few days to build more strength..I try to be available for my BF and at the same time take time for me, especially if im feeling off--I take more alone time
so take a little time to regroup
the intensity will pass and you will find your center again
peace

[braveheart]

Forward, why is your confidence hurting right now? I can understand a little depression and fatigue having to take care of your D by yourself, but you are getting through it.

[forward]

I'm not really sure, BH. I have been trying to keep up w/exercise routine but I think that I miss the intensity that I was able to apply when I wasn't working.

And I am not always very happy w/what I am doing for a living. But lucky to have job.

New Guy has pulled back a little and I guess part of me is both a little scared he is really into me and part of me is afraid that he isn't. I guess I am just not sure about things right now.

I have moments of missing X quite intensely.

[MaMaMo]

I have moments of missing X quite intensely

Are you missing your X or what you have with the X?

[forward]

I miss X. Except I miss who he used to be. Got a flash of that the other day and it did hurt.

Kind of wondering when X will have another OW.

I will be glad to get through the holidays. So many additional errands, and I am doing everything myself.

[ShantillyLace]

OK I have a question.
We are all told the Xs may try and return at sometime but often LBS has moved on.
forward you still care obviously.

So what happens if X is finally making his way out of the tunnel and comes out of this truly wanting you back, I know you are with someone new but what would you do.

Would you be tempted or have you decided that the hurt he did you was too much?

The reason I ask this is because i left my H due to depression and after a year we reconciled. And now its his turn for crisis. (yipee) I was a vanisher and H had no idea i wanted back until I rocked up one day and spoke to him about returning.

I was lucky and see the dression in H he clings though.

So Forward is the hurt he did you too much to repair, have you locked your doors to him and thrown away the key or are they just closed to protect you for now?

[forward]

SL, Well, I guess you can never say never. But X would have to make up so much ground that I would not see things happening.

In thinking over the R, I was always the one who wanted X a little bit more than he wanted me. I felt, to quote the wife of the S. Carolina governor whose marriage went up in flames over an affair, ugly and unwanted after the OW.

I don't see him ever extending effort for me. I am not talking about material gifts. I am talking about being a priority and about seeing that demonstrated through actions. I really just don't think that's ever possible. I have contemplated whether X might have a personality disorder. It is possible.

I wrote in my journal that I wanted to be with someone who was in a family photo and looked like he wanted to be there--instead of sulky and resentful. And superior to everything.

[forward]

And SL, I guess I would answer your question by saying he would never want to come back, so I feel as if there is no point in contemplating the question.