Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

[LSG]

Well, W is worse than I ever thought. W just said she is only paying for one week of next months rent. W said I have to come up with the rest of it. She told me that the kids have a place to stay. She said, talk to my attorney. I will be out sooner than I thought at this rate. I have no job, and I will have no means to even look for one.

She is evil.

I took off my ring tonight. It is worthless to me. I do not consider myself married to this woman anymore.

I told her that she is a "real piece of work." I kept it clean with no cussing. I will not be stupid, but I am very angry.

She is on the rental agreement too. So they will sue her for the rent too. I have no place for my things, and I will lose the kids without a place to live.

I am screwed, but I am not done with this by a long shot.

Fine I will be homeless, and I will lose my kids, but I will live to fight another day.

I am not going away.

This will never be over what she has done to me and the kids.

I am going to seek an exparti hearing, and see if the courts will allow me to take the kids to my parents to live. It is one option I may have if I show what she is doing to me. The court will have to understand this is not right.

I need justice or something.

Life is though. I may not be here on this site in a few days.

You guys are family to me. You have supported me through all of this. I thank you so much. I have so much love for all of you. I wish you the very best in your sitches if I will not be here. I do not know what one day to the next will be.

I am so p!ssed!!!

I am in a living nightmare right now!

The kids will hate her for this. She has brought this on herself. I have done everything possible, but I am out of time and luck to do anymore. I just don't have financial means to fight this for now.

Again, I am not done!!! I will never give up on myself and the kids!!!!!!

I am rambling. I am sorry for going on and on!

[LSG]

I just watched "Fireproof" a movie about helping marriages to be stronger and reaffirm them. It sure made me feel good even if my M will be over.

I took off my ring tonight, but I put it back on because I am still married, and I take my committment to my W very seriously even if she does not. She may treat me poorly, and she may even have me homeless in the next week, but I am not going to just become someone that I don't like or someone I cannot look at in the mirror.

It may seem that what I write is in conflict with what I do, but it is not. I made a committment to my marriage, and I still hold that strong and dear to my heart regardless of what she has done to me. "For better or worse." I also made a promise to my kids that I would never leave them and to be there to protect them. I will continue to do that even if it is hard for me very soon. I will not break my committment and promise I have made to my W or kids. I will still fight the D because that is her choice, but I will fight to protect my kids and have a R with them always because I am their Father. I will not abandon them.

What I am saying may seem to be in conflict, but it is not to me.

I will still look for a job and pray that I find one. I will be okay no matter what.

Am I still upset with my W, you bet. Will I still fight for my rights, yes I will. These are choices I have to make that nobody but me can do.

Will it be hard. Sure. I will fight to the end for my kids. She will have to fight for our marriage at this point!!! That will be her choice and decision if she decides to do it.

I will be "okay." no matter what.

[LSG]

I will call the attorney today that has been helping and see what he says.

[Coach]

She may treat me poorly, and she may even have me homeless in the next week,

You have a choice. Stop playing the victim, it drove your wife away. You let her treat you poorly, you need to find and job and a place to stay. These are your responsiblities.

"When there is no wind, row."

Handle it.

[dad1b1g]

LSG, I am so sorry it has gotten to such a point. D is bad enough but to have someone make it that much harder....

I don't know how far your parents are, and no it will not be an ideal situation, but it may be what you need. Even in the short term it would allow you some time with out all the daily pressure of being around W and her actions. Hopefully your L will tell you some good news as to paths you can take legally to get the support you need for the kids.

As with you, I took off the ring, but put it back on. It is just not me to give up on the M, even if it looks like it is over, until the papers are final.

I will pray for you and your kids.

If you have to leave the boards know that people will still thing sbout you and you can always catch up with us.

[LSG]

Coach,

I always appreciate what you have to say, but I have to disagree that I am playing the victim.

I wish it was as easy as you make it seem to to just find a job. I am doing everything I can to find one. It is so frustrating to have everyone tell me to get a job when all I do is look for one. If only you and everyone could see what I have done to locate a job all this time. I have had countless disappointments, and yet I have never stopped trying.

I am not making excuses. I am describing that I don't know why I have not been able to find one.

I mean you no disrespect, but it is not as black and white as find a job and get a place.

Selfishness drove my W to her choices, not me playing the victim which I am not.

There is no wind, nor paddles, so I have been using my hands. It is awfully slow going this way.

I am not here to convince anyone what I have done to find a job, but I am doing everything possible.

[LSG]

dad1b1g,

My parents are 12 hours away by car, so it really is not an option. I hope there are some legal remedies still available to me in my situation.

The last thing she has done is more of the same. She is refusing to pay the rent for the rest of the month. She tells me the day before the rent is due, and I still would not have enough to pay it with what I have been awarded in spousal and child support if she told me sooner. I have taken care of my family even if it has not been financially. This has allowed her to have the career she does and focus on that.

I appreciate you support.

[CityGirl]

I've asked you this before and you said you were "keeping your options open" but have you applied for jobs at restaurants or hotels or something in the service industry? What about working at a fast food place at night? Call landscaping or painting companies and ask them if they need help.

Your attny needs to do better. Period.

If your W is the primary breadwinner, unless the courts state otherwise, she must continue to pay the living expenses OR give you ample notice. One day is not ample.

L.A. is a HUGE city - with the support you are getting you should be able to rent a room somewhere or get in a roommate type situation until you get on your feet. No, it won't help you in the custody situation but something has to give here.

Craigslist - you can sell items, look for housing of all kinds, look for jobs and one time "gigs". Yes, L.A. is tough without a car but there is a bus system.

Your W should not be taking the car unless she has legal permission to do so.

[LSG]

CG,

I have applied to MCDonald, Burger King, In-and-Out, Blockbuster, etc. I apply everywhere.

He was only hired for the one hearing, so he is done his part. I do have more to pay him, so he will not do more.

The one Product Specialist is already filled by someone from Japan. He said next year maybe because the company is growing. I don't need next year. I need now. It is this way all the time for me. The job is closed, or somebody with more experience is hired. Or the economy goes bad. The list goes on. I never have one break.

I did call my previous manager at my other apartment complex. I told him I would work for the rent. He said he will get back to me and took my number. He was I need 2.5 times the rent. The one is for 1050, and I receive 1075.

[LSG]

I would not have enough for food for the kids at this point or utilities. He is trying. He would give me a move in special he said, so i only have to come up with 1250 initially. I could have afforded this for a couple of months if I had a place until the end of the month. I do not have income or proof from the courts that I will need, so I will have to get this too.

I agree that something does have to give, and it has by what she told me last night. I am not ready to throw in the towel just yet. I am not reacting, but I have to act. I have to think of my options and alternative. I will find a way somehow.

I left a message for the mobile home guy too.

I agree with what you are saying, and I am doing it.

She pays the loan, but our names are both on it, so I agree with you. I just do not have the resources to fight her and her family. She is receiving money from them too I know. The are very wealthy.

I am not make excuses. It is just my reality and the reality of my sitch.

I write here to keep my self calm, in control, and not make stupid mistakes.

I know my come off as whining, but for me it keeps me in control of myself, and controlling myself is all I can do right now.

I appreciate you supporting and helping me so much. You are such a good person. Your kindness I will not forget, and I am very thankful.