Just found the site Friday evening and could not log in until today so I am needing some advice as to how to handle the session in the morning.
W of 17 yrs walked Sunday, came back monday said she wanted D, plannig to file in 2 weeks. Says she has not been happy for a long time. That I am controlling and she needs her independance.
Refuses to consider working on it, told me counselor told her there was no need to try. I have not seen or spoken to counselor since W met with her. I have read as many posts that I could and have backed off. I was telling her several times a day that I love her and would not give up on us but she went off said she was going to file today if I kept it up so I stopped. She wants house, that's fine, I don't want it anyway but I really don't want the divorce and do want to work on it.
So how do I handle a session that I am led to believe will be one sided?
am I controlling? The only 2 things I had a problem with were the fact the she spends money and hides it from me and lately she has started wearing VERY low cut shirts to work and in public, but only when she was not with me.
OM? I think there may be but don't really have any proof other than some questionable cell phone calls to a man that she works with.
Absolutly no form of abuse in my life.
2 kids, 4yrs ago I started farming full time and became SAHD, she started her current job about the same time.
My W said I was controlling too, although I didn't see any of that. I thought everything we did was done willingly. Has she told you what she thought you were controlling?
I am still fairly new here, but I see the same excuses and issues in a lot of these situations. It really makes me sick to see the same situations over and over again. It really doesn't make sense to me.......I am at a loss as to how to explain it. We can't all be bad men, right? We are just men....
the only complaints, at least to me, were that I am controlling and she wants her indepdance.
When she came back she told me she needed her space so I let her be. I went to counselor Tuesday and asked her if she would like to go.
I messed up Wednesday by telling her I love her etc. She went to counselor Friday. Friday night she told me no chance to work it out and if I kept trying to be sweet and tell her I love her she would file today (monday). I found this site Friday and backed off. I do not approach her unless I absolutely have to. Have not said the L word. She seems to be effected by it in that she is now approaching me, telling me good night first etc.
the controlling part was that I did was not happy when I would find out she spend the money and hid it from me and that I would obviouosly be upset when she would wear a lowcut shirt.
the problem I need to address now is that she wants me to leave the home when she files in 2 weeks
Dude. Listen very carefully to puppy dog tails. If you spend much time here you will learn that there are some folks who are black belts in this stuff. And he is one of them. You might not always like what he has to say, but you'll be hard pressed to find him wrong.
If you can reschedule even a few days the vets here will help you not go in there and get sliced up. Then READ, READ, READ! Learn from the rest of us and the mistakes we've all made. Get as much detail as possible out so the vets can help you.
You can do this stuff. It's the hardest thing you'll probably ever face, but you only have two choices. Do your best, or give up hope. That your here tells me you will choose the right path.
Good luck and sadly, welcome aboard.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
