My ex-h was ordered to pay a non-modifiable amount for my COBRA, and for the last year or so, the payments arrived on time. I must say that he is very good with money and making sure bills are paid. Anyway, these payments go to my sister who then forwards them to me because I live out of town and my place of residence is no longer ex's business. I seriously do not want him knowing where I live.
Plus, when we were D'ed, I changed my name to one that is so common that I would never again have to spell it out to anyone (I always hated that, annoying as hell to me, but I digress), and I figured it would have the added benefit of becoming fairly anonymous. So far so good, right?
The beginning of this year (the last year he is obligated to pay) the checks have arrived later and later. At first, a day or so late; then three, five, and now eight, nine if it doesn't come in today's mail.
It has been a year and a half since I laid eyes on him and that was only because he had called me in Jan. of 09 to insist on coming over to our former residence to hand me the first COBRA payment in person so, get this: IT WOULDN"T BE LATE!!!
At that time I told him to please just put it in the mail, but he insisted on coming over. I should have held firm, but I caved and said ok, While I had him on the phone, I asked him if he had heard that a mutual acquaintence had died suddenly and he got pissy, cut me off short, and said that he didn't have time for this chit-chat and if I wanted to talk, we could arrange a time so I could call him at work. Yeah, like that is something I would do. He then told me the days he had off. Huh? HE IS THE ONE WHO CALLED ME!! He doesn't have time to talk, but he called me and is talking to me.....
And why would I call him at work just to chit-chat? I never call him. And why should I care which days he has off?
So, we hang up and he shows up ten minutes later. He has a very weird look in his eyes, sort of wary-sheepish-loathsome, oh hell, I can't explain it, but it was unsettling just the same. Anyway, I didn't even really try to hide my annoyance for him coming over (bad db, I know, but our D was final three days before so, over! Done!) I was just getting in my car to to leave for the weekend so he walked down the driveway to hand me the check. I said very little to him, very teeny, tiny small talk, took the check, and he left. Never saw him again, nor did I want to.
A month or so later, he sent text messages, email, and finally left a voicemail asking for my new address, since he knew I was relocating for a new job. Of course, I didn't tell him where, because I ignored every one of these communiques.
Finally, I sent him the following email in response to yet another request for my new address:
ex-h:
My family is renting my house, receiving my mail, and are authorized to make my bank deposits. Everything else has been changed individually.
Kimmie Lee
Is he trying to get me to contact him? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I DO NOT want to contact him about the late payment or give him the satisfaction that I am bugged by this.
Don't contact him, if you don't want to. Let him or his family continue to make the deposits to the bank.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
I think he's either yanking your chain, while he still has a little time/leverage to do so, or he's sincerely fallen on some hard financial times.
I can personally relate to obligations being paid a little later each month than the month before. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and you juggle as best you can.
I think he's either yanking your chain, while he still has a little time/leverage to do so, or he's sincerely fallen on some hard financial times.
I can personally relate to obligations being paid a little later each month than the month before. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and you juggle as best you can.
Puppy
Then he's yanking my chain. He's better off financially than I am. He has a secure job and gets a good retirement from the military.
Don't contact him, if you don't want to. Let him or his family continue to make the deposits to the bank.
Huh? He hasn't sent any money for anyone TO deposit.
And it's MY sister who receives the checks to forward to ME.
Why would I want HIM or HIS family to have anything to do with depositing my money?
Originally Posted By: Kimmie Lee
My family is renting my house, receiving my mail, and are authorized to make my bank deposits. Everything else has been changed individually.
I assumed thay were now making the payments to your sister.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
If he has always been good with bills and money perhaps he really is having a hard time financially. Of course, if that is the case it would be nice for him to let you know the checks will be slightly delayed.
Otherwise I would just go about your business and if the checks do not come pursue the avenue you need to, to get them. What about a direct deposit so nobody has to worry about sending stuff through the mail?
These WAS take the cake. My H texted me from a concert a few weeks ago out of the blue. It's ridiculous.
He has not fallen on hard times. I stated previously that the checks were arriving later, and later...and direct deposit? Why would I want ex to know my acct number? Or hassle with going through a third party to accomplish this? He only needs to make six more payments and then the final tie between us will be broken.
Sorry I'm so grouchy, but I just know that the Pupster is right. ex is effing with me.
[censored]!! I hate him. He left, got what he wanted, yet he still has to f with me. I disappeared from his life like he wanted, moved hundreds of miles away, don't look for lame-ass excuses to contact him, and I don't want to start now! We both have started over with new lives. It has been forever since we've seen each other.
