QUICK! I need a shoulder...

[navajo]

I am trying to be very strong and "here" for my kids but today is rough!

If you've read my couple of threads, you'll know what I am dealing with right now. If not, that's OK too. I just need some support for a minute until I compose myself.

Along with having a WAW leaving me with 2 kids and bills I can't pay, I have spent the last 2 days in-processing for my new job with the 40% pay cut (it was either that, or be out on the street in 6 months).

I sat down and did the number crunching and it is becoming very obvious that I am not going to be able to keep the house even after filing bankruptcy. I am so afraid that this will be the blow that drives my son over the edge! He has said for years now that he doesn't ever want to leave here (S13) and he even wants to live here after he's married. I know this is just kid feelings, but dangit! I don't want him to have to face losing his mother and his home in the same timeframe! Not to mention that I am pretty sure we won’t be able to find a place that will allow us to keep his St. Bernard that has been his constant companion for 6 years.

WHY did she have to do this to us?!?!?!

I told her tonight that I would probably not be able to keep the house and she said “Well, sorry.”! I swear if I hear SORRY one more time, I’m gonna blow! If you’re sorry, then quit F***ING around with the other guy and come home!!!

I am just so scared and uncertain of what the immediate future will hold.

I DO know that we will eventually come to terms with this and begin to heal, but that doesn’t really help that much.

Sorry for venting, just needed a sympathetic ear.

Thanks,

Tom

[Buffet]

hey man no great words of wisdom but stay strong for no other reason than to lead your son during this time, there are always silver linings in the clouds, sometimes you just have to make it out of the storm to see them

[navajo]

Thanks Buffet.

I know that someday we'll look back on this and think it wasn't so bad (I HOPE!).

I do try to keep my kids in the forefront of my mind and watch my actions. It is just so new and raw that sometimes I get wrapped up in "Me".

Thanks for the words of encouragement!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Nav,

How you handle these tough times will DEFINE how you teach your son, and how he will operate, the rest of his life. I'm not saying this is a blessing, but how you handle it, CAN be.

I'm going thru some of the same stuff, right now. And as men, it kills us, because we want to PROVIDE, and do it well. It sucks, and it eats at your guts. But I'm also teaching my four kids how you deal with adversity -- with persistence and character -- and they have already learned things thru our financial difficulty that they could have NEVER learned from a book.

Your family needs a leader right now, and -- as you note -- it AIN'T gonna be your wife. Yes, shame on her for what she's doing, but SHAME ON YOU if you let it affect you so much that you don't lead your family thru this.

You can handle it. STRENGTH and HONOR.

Puppy

[Coach]

My mantra going thru my sitch (which I still use) was " I can handle it."

One of my buddies from back then had as his signature line, " tough times don't last but tough people do. From my Dad to me, me to my boys."


Strength and Honor
Coach

[CPCajun]

Coach and Puppy hit it right on the head. You can handle it.

Explain to your kids that where you are living at is a HOUSE, not thing more than wood, metal, or concrete. I know it would be hard to loose it, but you can always rebuild. In the past 10 years I have been laid off several times(Stay out of telecommunications) and had to start over. It sucks trying to keep up and not loose your house that you work so hard for, plus provide for your family.

This is one of the reasons I am here. Stress of providing..or money. I have never let my family down, I have always adapted and overcame(one of the thing my wife does like about me), but I never shown any emotion of being woryied. that came with a price of more stress and anger. I took that anger out on my family.Do not fall to this. Its a deep hole I am currently digging out of.

Now your HOME is where you make it. It is where you and your kids will be together with or without your wife. THIS is what counts.

[TimeHeals]

Man, I sure am sorry to hear about your situation.

Remember, though, how you handle this difficult time is more important than anything else in terms of your son.

Houses can be blown down by the wind, spouses--unfortunately--can be selfish, immature, and unwilling to fight for their family and marriage, but losing these things doesn't have to define YOU. If you decide to be a real man, honor the lifelong commitment to your son, and are determined to weather these storms with dignity and honor, you are giving your son what is most important.

[DumpedforMIL]

Remember, though, how you handle this difficult time is more important than anything else in terms of your son.

i second that.

this is an opportunity for you to show your son what to do when life hands you lemons.

you can handle it.

[navajo]

Thanks for all the encouragement!

Just an note, though. When I said I wasn't really being there for the kids, I didn't mean it like that. What I was trying to say was that i was still here and interacting with them, but instead of being upbeat etc, I was just quiet.

My son came over and asked me if I was OK and I said not really, but I would be. he said "It's OK to cry if you need to". THAT'S my little man!

I am much better today and have it back together.

He went to a water park and sleep over with a friend for the next 3 days so I HOPE he is having a good time.

Once again, I thank you ALL for the kind words and helping me keep my perspective!

Tom