That sounds pretty reasonable (to a layman, non-doctor like me.) I was afraid we were going to be talking about homeopathic or ginkgo biloba or something. Just keep in mind that hormones are "natural" and normally found in the body, but so are sodium and heavy metals and other substances that range from useless to dangerous in higher doses. On the other hand, if your wife's moods stabilize and she feels more herself, you'll be glad you didn't let me make you nervous. Good luck!
Thank you SOB I think I'm hijacking gmans thread: "SSM after an A by LD spouse...thoughts?" But answering your question regarding the drug, the doctor prescribed her a hormone compound that melts under the tongue, it's called Bi-Estrogens 50/50. When the Dr. anylized her hormone profile she said the reason for the LSD and bad temper was that, regarlees of the tetosterone level which was a little bit low but was ok for her age, she had an anormal cortisol level. She put my wife into a diet program (she can't eat anything containing gluten i.e. bread) and some supplemental vitamins (Seriphos, Trace minerals). Well still she hasn't finished the 2 months try period, she has an appointment by the end of September. We'll see.
End of treatment...no improvement. We wasted our time. I don't know what to do next. I'm thinking
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
Dgtal, you don't sound like you're giving up. That's the right way to do it. If the treatment didn't work, the sooner you can forget it and try another way, the better. I'm pulling for you over here.
Sooo . . . . what, specifically, do you want? What would you and your wife be doing and saying if you had your problems solved? Think about what a day in your life would actually be like. Things like "we would have sex more and do more fun things together" don't count. Specific things like "we would take bicycle rides together" count, as do things like "we would take showers together again." Specifics.
She's out of hormones (4 days). No more I told her, this thing is going to kill you. We are not achieving what we were expecting sexually. She's accepting there is something about her. She is traped in that embarrasing position of me finding out about her EA (problably PA).
Guess what. We had sex (didn't ML, no passion). During this 30+ minutes session I reached orgasm 3 times. Very wierd, she doesn't let me touch her or allow me any oral. She got undressed herself and got inside the blankets. She was like feeling sexual, I noticed it but with the usual "harry up we are not going to expend the whole night here", I was 100% aroused. Finished in about 5 minutes (I couldn't hold it any more. I asked her if we could do it again, she didn't said anything and turned around naked. I did it again, and again. I could see her face full of enjoyment during sex. But after that, she became irritable and complaint b/c I did a little mess (don't want to go to full details). But I learned a technique -> during the rejection period instead of becoming angry and hurted I started to laugh and made some jokes about her behavior. I applied more pressure, not to hurt her (she was very rigid) and little by little she became gentile and open to sex.. I don't know how to explain that. I'm trying something different and no more of the same crap (rejection then anger, no more). It's working. Or maybe the hormone she was taking were hurting her feelings? dunno
Last edited by dgtal; 09/29/1006:22 AM.
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
I have come to the conclusion that I really don't understand and probably never will my wife's sexual responses. Sometimes she just wants to get aroused enough that sex will be pleasant for her and has seemingly absolutely no desire to orgasm and prefers it that way. Other times she really wants to go for the big O. I honestly think that foreplay is more important than intercourse and I kind of feel that way as well.
Our sex therapist told us that sex should be playful and we should try to interject laughter and humor in our love making.
Now you and your wife just need to figure out which parts of last night are repeatable and work toward repreating periodically.
There was a book my wife had me read entitled "Still Sexy after All these Years." It was based on thousands of interviews with women over 50 about their desire, sensuality and sexuality. Some parts were pretty depressing at to some older women's lack of libido, other parts were encouraging about how some older women in terrible situations found ways to keep desire, sensuality and sexuality as part of their lives. It might be an interesting read for you.
One of my fears was that if I was in an SSM before I retired was I effectively facing a life sentence of celbacy. Now I know that sex is part of my relationship with my wife and I know that she understands how important it is to our relationship.
Good luck to you.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
